Brian, Haley & Matthew Webb

12 Weeks, photo shoot

2012-02-10T23:17:00.000-08:00

This week has been pretty uneventful, just doing the same things we always do. My back is still messed up, but slowly getting better... very slowly. I actually think my hips are the main problem since I went on a walk today and they are very sore, but I am doing my stretches, and hopefully my back will eventually not hurt.

As for Matthew, he is awesome. I should stop there since I don't ever want to be accused of complaining, so I will just say I am documenting his progress. He still sort of has day/night confused just a few hrs, so he wakes up at 10pm and will be awake the longest period of time for the day (2-3 hrs), and will go to bed around 12-1. He sleeps till 7, then goes right back to sleep until 10. If he would just go right to sleep after his feeding at 10, then he could wake up for the day at 7, but we can't seem to change his mind yet.

His first nap, (from 11-1) he will sleep all by himself in his crib, which is awesome and I try to get as much done as possible. The rest of the naps he will sleep an hr, and I rock him the rest. I feel like he hardly has awake time, since it is taken up by his eating, bath, and diaper changing, but then I also feel like I can't think of what else to do with him other than blabber in his face.

Lindsey wanted to do a quick photo shoot when she came over to Mom's, to have a picture for her wall, but her children are very wiggly, it was pretty funny watching a bunch of adults try to corral 2 kids for a picture. They sure are pretty cute though right!?

We tried to get the boys together, I wonder if Matthew's eyes will lighten up like the Ez, or if they will stay darker blue.

Now they are just mocking the shoot. Since the background was up, I figured I would pop Matthew in, and he was very good, except he just kept giving me his bug eyed look.

We went on a walk today, and he slept the whole time, but whenever we would stop walking his eyes would open, it was pretty funny. I guess there is a motivator to keep going. Another bug eyed look, I love it!

11 Weeks

2012-02-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

This week has been a great one, full of smiling, baby talk and pretty good sleeping. The only bad part has been that I got a cold (mainly in my left nostril) and threw my back out, which has made it hard to do normal things like pick Matthew up. Once I am up, if Brian hands him to me it is fine, but it is the bending down and standing up that hurts.

Last Saturday we went to Ashley's piano recital, it was right at Matthew's nap time so he would sleep through the song, and then when people clapped he would wake up, so after a few songs we went out in the hall.
Here are Mom and Ash playing their song (Mom was filling in for Ashley's partner). Their song was first so we got to see their debut.
That night we also went to a basketball game, to see Ashley cheer during half time. Rah Rah Rah.
It was sooooooooooo loud during the game, I was worried that Matty wouldn't like it, but he was totally fine, even when the big buzzer would sound. I personally thought it was too loud, but he fell asleep for quite a while, and slept during all the noise. I couldn't believe it! It was such a fun game too, we played Royal and WON, right at the buzzer. Go Warriors!
I am always trying to get a good smile on camera, I think this is the best so far.
He is starting to really fill up the car seat, what a funny face.
I tried to get a pic of us together, since I am rarely in pictures, but now you can see why. What a crazy smile... I look like a psycho, and you can't tell me I don't, look at Matty's face, he thinks I am weird :)
This is the main way I can tell how much he is changing, I like to put the bathtub pictures side by side. I have started giving him his pacifier during the bath, and he has started to like them more.
Another smile.
This picture cracked me up. I put him in his bumbo for a while, and he was just kicking it. Haha.

2 Month Shots/Stats

2012-01-27T22:08:00.000-08:00

Monday we went to the Dr. and got Matty's shots, and stats. I couldn't handle how sad he was when he got the shots, and I cried too. That is the worst. They gave him 3, and said the babies usually don't cry from the first one... yeah right. I was holding him, and I felt him jump when they put the needle in and that just broke my heart.

When he was first weighed at my Dr's office at about 1 week old he was in the 5th percentile. Things have changed.

Weight: 13 lbs 84% (percentile) ~I thought he had some oz, but they didn't put any on my chart
Height: 23.5" 66%
Head: 39 cm 23%

The last couple days he has been going backwards a bit in his sleeping, he is harder to put to sleep for naps, he will only sleep 30-45 min in his crib, and struggles to sleep on my chest after that just sort of fussing and restless. I wonder if he might be a bit sick from the shots, although he doesn't really have any other signs of sickness so maybe he is just going through a phase.

In the middle of the night when I pump I get a lot of milk, and I thought I would document it since it is interesting to me. When you pump the first milk is called foremilk and the later milk is hindmilk, and it is a lot fattier. The 2 bottles on the right are the first milk I pump, and then I get 1/2 bottle more on each side, and have combined them in the bottle on the left. It is hard to see in the picture, but it looks to me like pure cream. You can see the fat in the bottles on the right has separated to the top, but the whole left bottle is practically fat. No wonder my boy is getting chubby :)

Matthew is getting so responsive, and smiles easily when you speak to him (if he isn't tired or hungry) it is so fun trying to get a good reaction out of him. Here are some faces I have captured this week. He cracks me up!

My 30th Birthday, 9 weeks

2012-01-20T18:22:00.000-08:00

My first try at a family photo. Wow.
Matthew sporting his FSU binky, we are starting him young :)
Lindsey's family came over for my "birthday extravaganza", and Darcy was really enjoying the Christmas candy that we had out... as you can plainly see. Haha.

Grandma and Grandpa enjoying the party, with Matty's buddy Ezra.

Brian planned the meal, tiny hamburgers and hot dogs. I was in charge of making the small hot dog buns, which seemed like they took forever rolling out, but it was worth it... look how cute!.
Brian enjoying his meal. It was funny to talk about how much I had eaten, saying I had a hamburger and 4 hot dogs really sounds like I was a pig.
My delicious cheesecake. We were a little low on candles so Brian suggested I blow it out 30 times. I really had to take a deep breath for that one!

I took some pics on Matty's 2 month birthday, I can't believe how time is flying. He is really starting to kick a lot, especially when he is happy and smiling. Here is an action shot.
Big boy face.
Sneeze.
Today when I was making some noises, he started doing this bug eyed, funny face. I took a video of it, but my noises are so embarrassing, I just couldn't post it, so here is a pic.
I have noticed this week when he starts to get tired, his eyes start to get red, you can kind of see it in this pic.

We have been doing better on him sleeping in his own bed for naps (on his side), and he will usually make it at least an hr now. A couple times I have been able to put him back down and he will sleep the rest 30 to 45 min or so, but otherwise I have to rock him for the 2nd part of his nap. That is better than just a week ago when he would only sleep 30 min by himself, but I am just fine holding him if that is what it takes. We also have extended our sleep at night to 5 hr increments, we go to sleep around 11 and wake up around 4, then go to bed 4:45 to 5 and wake up around 10am. I am loving this schedule. Everyone told me I wouldn't be able to sleep in in the morning after I had a baby, but he is definitely a morning sleeper, which I love.

Here is a short video of him hiccuping and smiling. Normally he doesn't like the hiccups and cries when he has them, but he has been super happy today. Please excuse my babbling, I am just going to have to get used to it since all of the videos have me talking in them, but I still can't hardly stand to hear myself.

8 Weeks

2012-01-14T15:33:00.001-08:00

I had promised Kay that I would update with pictures every friday so she could see how much he is changing, but as you can see I have already failed a bit, but I have finally gotten caught up, so here is the latest. He is totally excited about his new duds Kay got him, see? Haha.

Happy boy. I love that he can smile now, and lets me know he enjoys my baby babble.
Another shot.
I think this was just a funny expression, after he is full looking up at me. Pretty content.
In the middle of his arms flailing out, and looking up at the light in the bathroom before a bath.
In the bathtub. He basically doesn't care either way about a bath, not really happy or sad, except at the end when I wash his head, he starts to be sad at that point so I do it quickly.
Here he is after the head washing, such a cute sad face, but usually I cuddle him up and he pees on me so I make sure and shower after his bath :)
I cut the back of his hair a tiny bit, cause it was looking kind of like a mullet, party in the back!
Another smirk.
I have put him on his tummy for a nap a couple times in the living room where I can watch him, and he sleeps so much better that way, but his face does this, which totally cracks me up. Big lips.
Here he is today, in his newest outfit, and his shoes that already barely fit. I love them though! He looks like such a little man. Awww.

Baby Blessing

2012-01-13T23:00:00.000-08:00

Brian's family got to be here for Matthew's baby blessing, and we were so grateful to be able to share our special day with them. We also got some pictures of us all dressed up, which is so nice. I only wish I had thought to gather my family together and snap some, but maybe we will put on his blessing outfit and fake it :)

I especially love this first picture, you can see where they all get their good looks from :) So glad you could be in the circle Danny, it was the best surprise ever!

Webb Family Visit

2012-01-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

Brian's family came to visit for Christmas, New years, and the baby blessing, and we had some good times while they were here. It was so great to have them here in such a fun time, with Matty learning how to smile and talk, and seeming to change so much right in front of our eyes. We ate a lot as usual, played many games, and shopped a bit. Kay got me so many little things that have made my days much easier, especially the binky strap, and bottle warmer. Oh, and she taught me that I can get dressing from Olive Garden, and now I like salad again, yippee!

First up is just a pic of me, Brian tried to take one of me with the babe, but I didn't like it, so I showed him how, but it is just my face. But at least you can see I do get ready for the day every once in a while :)

This is in the car on our way to town, I just love his little face, and he looks great in green :)
We had the craziest wind storm while we were in town, and this picture is of the shopping carts that broke free and were blown into our car door. It is also a reminder of our scare, we had Matty in his car seat (we thought it was locked on to the shopping cart) but the wind was blowing so hard, when we walked out of WalMart it blew off, and he flew to the ground in his car seat. It was such a miracle he was strapped in, and was totally fine, but we were certainly freaked out, and he was scared by it for a bit.
Of course while they were here we watched lots of football, so it was a good thing they had gotten Matty some FSU gear in order to watch the FSU game like a true fan. It looks like he is trying to do a little Karate, and his little helmet cracks me up!
Go Team!
One of the many things he learned while they were here was he started holding his head up much more, so we got a Bumbo to try and he will sit in it for a while. Looks like he is enjoying his game night.
I was horrible at taking pictures, but here he is hanging out with his Uncle Chris, they became good buds :)
Here's Danny feeding the babe, this is one of the things I miss the most with having them gone, someone feeding him while I pump. I'm so sad we don't have more pictures to show how much Matty loved hanging out with his Grandpa, and how much fun they had with him while they were here!
Here is Lance holding him, I love Matty's crazy expression, and it looks like he is trying to start some boxing match. Bring it on Uncle Lance.
I did not look good enough to be photographed on this morning, so this was our compromise. We had to get a pic of him in his farmer outfit though. The overalls are still a tiny bit to big, but they sure are cute.
Brian got these binkys, and they are pretty hilarious. This is my favorite one.
Grrr.
The Little Piggy.
The boys went in the backyard to shoot some skeet, and I wanted to go out to try my hand at it, (bad idea, sore shoulder) so I bundled up Matty and we went out for a min. He didn't even care about the loud noise of the gun. He was actually laying in the stroller, and ended up falling asleep. Crazy kid.
Lastly here is Lance flying the giant kite. Paul came over and brought this, but it isn't just any kite, it is huge and it was funny watching them all try and tame the beast. It threw Brian on the ground a few times when he was trying to maneuver it. I liked watching from inside where it wasn't cold.
Well, I sure wish I had more pics, especially of Kay, who helped me a ton, and was awesome feeding Matty all the time. She certainly had the Grandma touch, and was so gentle she could put him to sleep every time she held him. We were so glad they could come visit, and get to know our little bundle of joy, and I will try to post more pics to keep everyone updated!

Christmas

2012-01-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

I was very unprepared for Christmas this year, and it snuck up on me. I feel like all I can think about is feed, change, sleep :) And I did a pretty bad job of documenting with pictures, but here are a few. Santa came to see Ashley & Matty, but he looks pretty skeptical. Haha.
We finally got to be Joseph & Mary this year, with the cutest baby all swaddled up.
The whole cast. We had quite a few good hats this year.
Brian opening one of Matty's presents. He got quite the large amount of FSU stuff, as expected.
Dad enjoying Darcy's harmonica.
Matty slept through Christmas morning, but this was going to be his outfit if he woke up, so here is a pic of him in it. Brian thought it was funny to have pockets, so he put his hands in them. Good one.

Photo Shoot

2012-01-07T18:21:00.000-08:00

We had Matty's 1 month pictures taken to give as some of our Christmas presents this year, and we loved how they turned out so much. We had 2 different ladies in the ward take them, and I love the different types, angles, poses etc... that they each had. Here are some of my favorites, although it was so hard to choose!

Christmas Card

2011-12-24T10:28:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it is Christmas Eve already, time is flying it seems without me getting anything I had planned done. This morning during a feeding I made a Christmas card. Obviously I'm too late to send them out, but at least my online friends can see it. We are very blessed this Christmas, and hope everyone has a wonderful one!

1 Month

2011-12-18T18:43:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe I am already writing Matthew's 1 month update, it snuck up on me that he was getting older, and one month seems like he isn't a newborn anymore! Matty has been such a good baby so far, the only problems we have had are that he still doesn't like to nurse (even though I almost have been pumping the amount he will eat) and he has had his days and nights mixed up.

I think because of the frequency of pumping my milk has come in a little more, also I ordered the parts to make my pump a hand pump, and I can express the milk better with it since I can mock the suck and let down speed. I have only used it for 3 days, but have been getting around 5-6 ounces which is what he has been eating so we have hardly had to supplement with formula. He has started to drink his bottle better as well the last couple days (I don't constantly have to be waking him up) which has allowed me to feed him with one hand and pump with the other, so feeding takes about 45 min, total now. My hands are going to be soooooo strong!

I have never seen a sleepier baby for being so old. I expected him to be pretty sleepy the first week, but all the way until 3 days ago (3 days ago was a significant time in our home) it was like trying to wake the dead. I was waking him every 3 hrs to feed, and constantly trying to keep him awake enough to eat, and then a little time afterward so he could learn daytime but it felt pretty fruitless since he could sleep through pretty much anything. He would have to be tickled and the bottle moving in his mouth to remind him to suck almost every suck, and after eating he slept through a bath, any tickling, massaging, Brian tried to rub an ice cube on his tummy once and nothing. It seemed like we would never see him awake, then poof all of a sudden he is awake now. I guess he just needed to get older.

After he eats I usually set him down since he is more awake without anyone holding him, and he just looks around, all content. I talk to him, and he gets big bright eyes, and I can't wait until he can really recognize me and smile back.

He is quite the pooper, and got a pretty bad diaper rash since I couldn't keep up with his poops. Every time he had gas or sneezed he would poop a little, and every time he woke up he was poopy and then during his feeding he would poop again. I just have been changing him like crazy, and making sure to put Desitin on and it is better now, plus he isn't pooping with each gas so that is making it better. Brian is very impressed with his loud toots, and has had some good competitions :) When he is stretching waking up he always has some good loud ones, and those are fun in church!

He is also a good burper. For a few days last week when he was drinking his bottle he would get kind of restless, and I would burp him, but he wouldn't burp and I didn't know what was wrong, but finally figured out he was gassy, so we have been giving him the Little Tummies drops and he hasn't had any problems since.

He likes getting a bath, and has peed during almost every single one. He doesn't really love the lotion afterward, and kind of fusses a bit until you get to his hands, and if you massage the lotion on his hands for a while he gets a sweet content face and stops fussing, it cracks me up.

We are so glad he takes a pacifier, it is so nice to be able to calm him quickly. When he is hungry though, when you give it to him he makes a funny noise, I can't quite explain. It sounds like an old tractor trying to start up? but he is just working so hard to get some food out of it, and it doesn't come.

We had some photo shoots yesterday and today for him, and I can't wait to see the pictures! He was wide awake for one, but was still pretty good. My mom made him a hat for his shoot, and it is awesome. Here is a shot of it with his cousin Ezra, and some of his 1 month.

We love Matty so much, and it is so precious having him fill our house with his sweet baby noises, and smells (the good ones), and having our time spent thinking of how to be good parents to him, and what he needs. I have always thought that taking care of a baby would be the most worthwhile use of our time, and I was right! I cannot think of anything more fulfilling or joyful, and am trying to relish every moment, since I can already see that time flies, here he is 1 month old already. I don't know why we were not blessed to have children in our home earlier, but if part of it was so that we would be more grateful, then I am trying to do just that.

Feeding Problems

2011-12-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

When I first had Matty I was unable to breastfeed right away because of the blood loss, and the next couple of days he wasn't latching well. All of the nurses and doctors told me that my milk might not come in well because my body would be focused on replenishing the blood and not worrying about producing the milk. I pumped the colostrum in the hospital, but it was hardly any. The La Leche lady Ann kept coming in and trying to help, but I felt like she was hovering and judging me, and the things she suggested didn't seem to be helping.

I kept pumping when I got home, and just gave that tiny bit to him along with formula. 2 days after we were home my milk came in, but not very much. I went to the post-partum clinic at the hospital (they like to make sure everything is going well) and that lady helped me a lot, and Matthew was able to latch on with the aid of a nipple shield. I breastfed for a few days, but then Matty started acting really fussy at night. I was researching online, and thought that he had some bad gas pains, and that was why he was unable to sleep.

I read that sometimes the shield gives babies gas, since they suck air through it a bit, so I tried to see if he would latch on without the shield. He did eventually get it, but after some struggling and crying, but then he slept better. So the next day I fed him only without the shield, but each time was a struggle, and it ended up that we would both just be crying for a while until he latched on which was rough. He did sleep well though so I thought it was worth it to have his tummy not hurt, and he would hopefully learn to latch easier. The next day I went to the pediatrician, to weigh him and make sure he was gaining weight, but he had actually dropped 2 oz. from the week before so he was 6 lbs 12 oz.

I pretty much had a breakdown. They were very concerned, and basically told me that I hadn't been feeding him enough, when it felt like ALL I had been doing was feeding him, since it took forever for him to latch on and then he would eat forever. When we left the dr. I just cried and cried, feeling so sad that my poor little man had been hungry and I didn't even know it. We went to Lindseys and I fed him with the nipple shield, except he fell asleep after one side, so you can see why I was confused, he didn't act starved. He eventually woke enough to eat the other side.

When we got home I had Brian feed him with formula to make sure he got enough food, and I pumped to see how much I was producing. I think I got around 2 oz, but he ate 4 oz. The next couple feedings I gave him my pumpings plus formula then I pumped for the next time. Then I went to the other Lactation specialist, Kristin who was awesome.

She weighed Matty, and he was back up to 7 lbs 2 oz before eating, so he hadn't been starving just not getting enough to put on weight. He breastfed at this appointment, and she said he wasn't the problem, he was good at latching and had a good work ethic, but that my milk wasn't in enough, and that we needed to supplement for him and try to bring my milk in better. The thing she thinks caused my poor milk supply was PCOS! It just had to come back to get me one more time. PCOS includes hormone problems, and specifically the pituitary is affected, which makes prolactin, the hormone responsible for milk production.

She recommended I go back on Metformin, and try Domperidone to increase supply. Also every 3 hrs I was to nurse 15 min both sides, then give a bottle, then pump 15 min. This ended up taking around an hr and a half, so I then had an hr and a half break and started over again. She said that for a 7 lb baby, in order to gain weight he needed to be eating at least 2 oz, but Matty started out eating 4, then moved up to 5 and at the most 6. When he had the large amounts though, he would end up spitting up a ton afterward, but they wanted him to gain weight so they said if he was still rooting to keep feeding. I think that he was making up for lost time though because he has evened out to eating 3-4 oz now.

We had said that we would continue this schedule for 2 weeks, but it was super hard. The feeding around 2am I took a break from nursing and had Brian feed him his bottle while I pumped, so it took way less time. I ended up liking that feeding the best since Matty didn't really like to nurse, and it was kind of a struggle to keep him interested and latched on. By the 6th day of this I dropped the nursing part, which brought our time to 45 min - an hr and we both liked it much better. It had gotten so he was pushing away from me and crying when I tried to have him nurse, and that was the opposite of the nice bonding experience it is supposed to be.

My milk supply has gone up to about 3-4 oz so I am almost strictly giving him my milk, but mainly from a bottle. I am maintaining nursing once or twice for a bit when he is a little full and just wanting to suck, just to keep the (happy) connection, in case he grows to like it and can suck fast enough to enjoy nursing. I think the milk just doesn't come out fast enough, and he doesn't like to work for his food :) Glad we are sorting this eating out a little, and hope it gets better and better.

More Pictures

2011-12-05T12:23:00.000-08:00

Matthew is about 2 and a half weeks old now, and I figured I should post some more pictures. He is just the sweetest baby, and just sleeps a ton. We have had some feeding problems, I will post about that separately, but here are some pics.

Every time I rock him to sleep he does around 3-5 big smiles, and it is the cutest thing. The pictures of his smile are a bit fuzzy since I don't want the flash on when going to sleep, so I took a video to show everyone, and it just cracks me up, but it is not loading correctly so I will try to post it separately. I could sit and stare at his funny faces all day... and sometimes I do!

Birth story

2011-11-28T03:54:00.000-08:00

I figured I need to write down as much as I can remember, my memory is already fading, but this may be a long post since I use my blog as my journal. Also, disclaimer, some medical info ahead, read at your own risk.

Wed Nov 16th we were called around 5 to come in to the hospital, and we weren't ready, since they had told us that there was no room and they wouldn't be calling. But we hurried and packed and showered and went. When we got there we signed in (that was weird, kind of like signing in to your hotel) and they took us back to our room, Suite 4. I didn't expect it to be so long of a process, but my doctor I think wanted to start me very slowly so that my body would move along gradually.

We had to do a lot of waiting for my doctor to come in, which is pretty much how it goes with him. He came in and gave me Cervadil, which is used to ripen the cervix. It takes 12 hrs though, so we had to wait. I did start having little contractions on it, but I couldn't really feel them, they just showed up on the monitor. I didn't get that much sleep that night, since I sleep on my side, but they had the monitors on me and their alarm would go off if I was on my side and moved them, and the doctors kept coming in at all hours. They put the IV in my arm, which wasn't comfortable either. By morning I was still only dialated to a 4.

Again more waiting for the doc till afternoon, then he started me on pitocin to start the real contractions. I don't really have any memory of how long I was on this stage until I had my epidural, but Brian thinks I was wimpy and it was about a half an hr with contractions about every 5 min. The anesthesiologist Matt came in, but he had to try 2 different times because he said the spaces between my vertebrae were pretty small and hard to get the needle in. I thought putting this needle in felt like he was ratcheting something in my back, not excruciating since he did a numbing shot, but definitely not comfortable!

An epidural is very weird, and I kept thinking how similar it is to Novocaine at the dentist. I could eventually get my legs to move when they needed me to, but it took a lot of concentrating on the exact muscles. We just kind of hung out, watching the monitors for contractions, waiting for me to dialate enough. We took naps, Brian thinks he might have sent emails and things, then we waited for the doctor to come break my water, maybe he showed around 3. The contractions started to get closer together, although I couldn't feel them.

Around 11 the nurse said we could start pushing, and the work began. Brian was watching the monitor to see when a contraction began, although I could feel a little pressure, and knew when they were coming on. I pushed 3 times for 10 seconds through each one, and then sometimes the nurse would have me do 3 mini pushes after that to keep him down a little more. The hardest part was trying to focus on the correct muscles to push from. The first push I felt like I was doing it correctly but half of the 2nd push, and most all of the 3rd one I felt like I was just pushing with my head, and the pressure on my face and eyes was hard. Every once in a while the nurse would say that we would skip a few contractions and take a break, and I was able to take a quick nap through that time.

Pushing lasted around 3 hrs, and then she called my Dr. who was sleeping in a room somewhere. He walked in practically asleep and I was wondering if he was really prepared, although by that time I was in the zone and still just pushing while he was setting up (and waking up). A few more pushes and he was crowning, my Dr. had Brian & my mom touch the head (kind of weird for me) and then he had me do big pushing and the head popped out. Brian was totally shocked since he had such a huge cone-head and we had never seen one that bad.

This was the hardest part for me because Dr. O told me to stop pushing, and my body was telling me to continue. I'm not sure why he had me do that, but he was cleaning out the mouth and wiping off the head making sure Matty cried. I apparently start blabbering on in trauma situations, and just kept saying how I was trying not to push, but my body is making me want to. Finally he let me push once more and out he came. They put him on my chest, and that is just sweet relief, for many reasons, but he was finally here.

We talked to him a bit while they wiped him off, and they had Brian cut the cord. Then they took him and my real trauma happened. It took a while for me to pass the placenta, and when I did I ended up losing a lot of blood. 12-1300 cc's of blood is what they said. I immediately started feeling lightheaded and thought I was going to pass out. I started blabbering on again, about how I was so tired and felt really weird. They lowered my head on the bed, and started bringing in other people, there were more nurses and Matt the anesthesiologist. He put another IV in my other hand (actually on my wrist, very uncomfortable), and they started pumping in more fluid.

The doctor said that I could go to sleep since I kept saying how tired I was, but I fought and fought it because I kept thinking about all the shows I watch where they tell the person in trauma to stay awake. My nurse Carla was pushing down on my stomach a bunch to contract the uterus and get it to stop bleeding, and every once in a while Dr. O would also. He was not very gentle! After a little bit it stopped and he gave me a few stitches. I could feel those, but realized I could press the epidural button, and then the pain went right away.

I could hear Brian doing things with the baby, they weighed him 7 lbs 2 1/2 oz, 21 inches long, and Brian gave him a bottle since I was out of it. Brian would come back to me every once in a while, and I just kept thinking, why are you over here, there is our baby over there, but obviously he was concerned. I don't remember much, the Dr. told me that they might give me blood but they didn't do it then (and I wish they would have) then I finally fell asleep. When I woke up they had cleaned the baby up, and our room was back to normal, and he was sleeping in his little hospital crib. It was strange to go from the chaos of the birth and blood loss with nurses running around, to the quiet and darkness of our room with just us there. But I finally got to see my little guy.

I still felt very weak, and could just basically lay there, but Brian brought him closer so we could talk to him and I could see him when I opened my eyes. The nurses kept coming in through the night, as always. Around 6:30 I woke up a bit, and wanted to try nursing since I knew that you need to establish that early. The nurses were changing, but Carla put Matthew in my arms, and said she would be right back (but it was the changing of the nurses, so she didn't come right back), and I could try to nurse. I think it would have been an awkward thing for anyone to try and nurse for the first time, but it was especially hard since I was so weak. I felt very nervous with him in my arms, because I couldn't barely lift his head, and he wasn't latching on, but my main fear was that I would drop him since my arms felt like lead. I thought I needed to sit up a little higher to get a better angle for feeding but once I sat up higher the room started to spin and my vision got cloudy, and I was sure I was going to pass out. It was pretty scary feeling so weak, so I tried to wake Brian up, he was sleeping in the chair beside my bed. I tried to say his name a couple times, but since I was weak I wasn't saying it loud enough to wake him up. Finally I gathered all my energy and said his name loud enough that he woke up.

He took the baby and as I was blabbering again. I lowered my bed (or Brian did) and I couldn't find the nurse button, that thing was always where I couldn't reach it when I needed to. Brian pressed the button and they called my Dr. to see about transfusion. We just kind of hung out Brian holding the baby (stealing my baby time) but I did start to feel better as time wore on. The stupid IV in my wrist was very painful, and later they figured out it was because that was also the arm that had my blood pressure cuff on it, and when it went off it kind of pushed the blood into the IV and hurt.

When Mom Lindz Ash Darcy and Ezra came that just happened to be the time that the nurse was able to get the blood, so she told me that she was going to give me some benedryl in case of allergic reaction to the blood. I thought, no problem, benedryl is a normal drug you can get at the store, but I didn't realize she was going to pump it into my IV. It took effect immediately, and I was high as a kite. I was so loopy and I couldn't hardly talk I was slurring my words. It did pass quicker than I thought it would though, I figured I would be out for the day, but I could still hear what people were saying (even Brian trying to convince me in my coma state to name the baby Gunner).

After the blood was pumped into me, I felt so much better. The rest of the day was mainly just me recovering. I tried breast feeding a few times also, and was unsuccessful. The La Leche lady, Ann came in and tried to help me, but it was a little frustrating, and she seemed to hover and make me uncomfortable. They kept telling me that when you have postpartum hemorrhage your body will focus everything on replenishing your blood supply, and might not bring your milk in. More on that in a later post.

I was determined that we would choose a name before the day was over, because it was so weird to have him here and not know who he was yet, just calling him baby all day. I had been worried that we wouldn't know which name was the one, but we had been praying that we would both have a good feeling about it, and come to a decision together, and that is just what happened. We had our list of names, and slowly crossed them off, and in the end Matthew meaning "Gift of God" was our favorite, and the we just felt like it had to be that one.

Brian was basically the best husband I could have ever asked for. I loved watching him love on our baby, and hold him on his chest while sleeping, or change his diaper, feed him etc.. He also waited on me hand and foot, and hardly got any sleep just like me. He did get to watch his 1st FSU football game with his new son, which was hilarious, he called it "bonding" and I am sure I will be seeing a lot of that in the future.

The only other thing that happened worth noting is that early the next morning I was trying to feed Matthew, and was holding him close to me but he started crying and I noticed his umbilical cord was bleeding quite a bit. We called the nurse in and she took a look at it and said they needed to take him to the NICU. So she wheeled him out. I was freaking out since I didn't know how bad it was, and they didn't come back for a while, so I started wandering the hall, pacing around waiting to hear something. The nurses said he was just in the NICU and they were taking care of it, that it happens often but I was worried. They brought him out, but the nurse was calling a dr about it, and I could hear her talking to the other nurses. I guess during their trying to fix it, the whole thing fell off, and then they stopped it from bleeding. So that was it, and he was fine, but they just wanted to make sure it didn't start bleeding again. I was kind of a wreck, and just cried and cried about it, feeling so bad that I had traumatized him, even though by then he didn't even seem to care.

The next day Brian got a lot of sleep, and I recovered some more and hung out with the baby, while we waited for Dr. O to come discharge us.

I pretty much can't put into words how happy we are that he is finally here, and the crazy feeling it was to bring him home. We have been waiting so long to be parents, and just feel like he is so perfect, and can't get enough, just looking at him and holding him, he is going to be the most loved baby ever!

Baby Webb Pictures

2011-11-20T17:49:00.001-08:00

We are home now, and I have quite the story to tell, sorry for my lack in blogging though I know I am always anxious to hear and see any new baby news. For now I will update with pictures, and hope to get around to telling the details soon. He is perfect, and oh how we love him!!! Seriously, check out how beautiful he is.

We did finally choose a name, Matthew James Webb. Pictures just do not do him justice though!

It's Time

2011-11-16T10:49:00.000-08:00

The hospital just called, I am going in now. Ahhhhh!

Videos

2011-11-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

I decided I could video my ultrasound with my camera, and post the little clip of him drinking. For some reason this makes him seem so much more human, doing such a regular thing like drinking. So cute!

I tried to video some of Baby Webb moving around, but it is a little hard to see. I guess maybe I need a pattern on my shirt that you could see him move more, but here it is anyway.

Dr. Update

2011-11-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

I went to the Dr. on Tue, and no change yet, I am still dialated to a 2 and 50% effaced, but my Dr. said he would induce me on Sunday night (as long as the hospital has room), which I said OK to, mainly since nothing is progressing, and I just can't hardly wait to see him! Also, since we live an hr away, the predictability is nice, instead of being worried I won't make the drive and have my baby in the car!

I feel a little weird being induced though, since I still feel totally fine (which is awesome) no contractions or even pain in my back or anything, but my Dr. seems to think it wouldn't be any different than me going into labor naturally. Maybe I will just have absolutely no pain this whole pregnancy, and I can go in and get my epidural and wonder what everyone has been complaining about... pregnancy and labor is easy :) Ha. Maybe I have just jinxed myself. Come on Sunday!

Locks, Halloween, 37 & 38 Weeks

2011-11-03T14:38:00.000-07:00

Ashley decided she wanted to cut her hair off for locks of love, and I couldn't hardly bring myself to cut off her beautiful hair, but it is for such a great cause that it seemed worth it. Plus, if I was needing a wig, I would certainly want her beautiful golden locks!
A couple before pictures. Wow, her hair was so long!
The Hair. I believe my comb is 7 inches, so the hair looks about 11 or 12 inches. I love all the colors in it.
And the After. I love getting my hair cut, so fun!
I basically was a dud for Halloween this year. Usually I start thinking of our costumes months ahead, and get all excited about carving pumpkins and halloween stuff, but I was kind of a slacker. I did think about my costume, but I underestimated how long it would take to make, and didn't get to town to procure all of the ingredients it would take to make it (not enough paint), so I only finished the top half. I also ended up not going anywhere for Halloween, so I spent all day making my costume, and then just wore it around the house and to moms. Here I am in the car, (kind of creepy smile).
I thought the skeleton idea was so cute (with the little baby bones and all), but after taking pictures of it, I decided this wasn't my most flattering outfit. Maybe nothing really is 27 weeks pregnant, but I sure liked the tiny football. I was pretty proud of myself for thinking that one up.
We went to the doctor on Tuesday (Nov 1st) and everything is going great. In the ultrasound the baby was drinking fluid, and it was so cute to see his little mouth sucking. I tried to crop the video to put on here, but couldn't figure it out so you can just imagine it I guess.

The nurse checked me, and I was dialated 2 cm and 50% effaced, with the baby at -2 station. It was shocking to be dialated already, since that seems like things would be starting to progress and I still don't really feel anything, but they told me I could be at a 2 for weeks still, so I guess that makes sense. I still can't hardly believe that he will be here anytime now, but it has been great this week to have a break from work, and get all the baby stuff ready and moving done. I guess it is just a waiting game now. Here are the belly pics:

37 Weeks
38 Weeks

36 Weeks, Gall Bladder Attack!

2011-10-25T17:32:00.000-07:00

36 Weeks

I failed to get a photo at 35 weeks, Mom and Dad were in Hawaii with our camera, and lets face it, I did not look good enough to get a picture. I did have a lovely attack though. Here is the story.

Monday night (17th) around 11 I started having pain just below my chest at the top of my stomach. I was very uncomfortable and couldn't fall asleep. It got much worse as the night wore on, and eventually I was in terrible pain. I wondered every once in a while if I could be going into labor, but then I would feel my stomach and it wasn't hard with contractions, so I knew it had to be something else. I was so restless, and nothing felt any better. I eventually threw up, but unlike the flu, I never felt better after throwing up, just continued in pain.

Brian will claim that he was up all night with me, but I think he had some cat naps in there :) He was so great though, rubbing my back and trying to help me feel better (water and washcloth after throwing up, just like a good dad would do). The worst of it came around 5 when I would get waves of pain, and realized that I couldn't relax my muscles in my back and below my chest. I thought they were a type of contraction, but later found out they weren't. When these attacks happened I couldn't breathe, and felt like if it was labor, I should have definately gone to a class to learn lamaze, since I was failing at breathing.

I finally fell asleep somewhere around 5:30 or 6. When I woke up in the morning, around 9 I felt ok. Obviously tired and drained, but no pain. Since I had a doctors appointment scheduled that morning already, and I wanted to make sure everything was fine, we went to town.

When we got to the Dr. they did an ultrasound and everything was fine with the baby, he is growing just great, and has pleanty of room. They did another NST test, and there was no movement in my uterus. They had me lay on my side for a few min. to see if the baby would move a little more, and I started getting the pain again. Since I was hooked up to the monitor I could see that what I was feeling wasn't a contraction since the line wasn't moving, but I was having a hard time breathing and having that pain. I talked to the doctors about it and they think that I had a gall bladder attack. Since the way to fix it is take your gall bladder out, and I am so close to delivery they wouldn't do the surgery until after the baby is born, so they didn't check my gall baldder further.

I was dehydrated though from throwing up all night, so they sent me to the hospital for an IV to get my fluids quickly. They also did some blood work to rule out infection, which came back negative. They told us we would be there for 6 hrs getting the IV, but we were probably only there 4 hrs. We watched Psych on Brians phone for a while, and when it died I slept and Brian went to get groceries. Look how happy I am to be in the hospital! Man I look giant, lets blame it on the bad angle of the camera :)

I had a bit of pain later that day in the car ride home, but found if I stretched my arms above my head I could get relief. I think that my uterus is putting pressure on my gall bladder, and that was maybe why I could get relief that way. Also, I am thinking that maybe I had a gall stone that passed, and that was why the pain was so intense, but I haven't felt it after that. I have been trying to eat a low-fat diet since that is what they say to reduce gall bladder pain, but I have had a few things that are fattening (lasagna and mac & cheese) and no pain, so that is why I am guessing the stone theory. I have an appointment next tuesday, and they will ultrasound my gall bladder to confirm.

Friday will be my last day of work. I cannot believe it is getting that close. I washed the laundry, and made the crib up, and am feeling a little more ready. I took a picture of my first load of baby laundry. Oh man, I have waited to be folding these tiny clothes!

We also ordered our stroller/carseat and have basically everything I can think of (other than more cute clothes of course) that we absolutely need before he shows up. I do feel like I should be doing some kind of nesting or preparing though, and hopefully can do more of that after I'm done working.

I still feel so great though, and have been told that that must mean it isn't time to have the baby yet. I keep waiting for the uncomfortable part to happen, but so far, I feel awesome. I do know in my mind that it is getting close, but somehow the infertile part of me cannot believe that this alien thing in my belly moving around so much is actually going to be a baby in my arms soon. I love all the crazy movement I feel, and it has been so fun having Brian finally feeling some of the really powerful kicks. I have been trying to get a video of my stomach moving around, but the baby is camera shy :)

I have truly been so fortunate to feel so good, that it has made it that much easier to enjoy the miracle happening in my body. Having the gall bladder attack has made me appreciate a little more how great I feel, so I guess there was an upside to that horrible night. Look for the silver lining!

Parties, 32, 33, 34

2011-10-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

We had a suprise kid cowboy party for my dad, but Lindsey has already posted most of the festivities, I figured I would just try to document it and looked for some pics she didn't get. Ashley & I made some stick horse heads since we don't have any real ones, and here is a shot of Darcy w/ her horse she named "2". Hilarious. From the looks of it she is actually saying 2 as well.
Everyone dressed in their authentic cowboy gear, but Aunt Elaine went above and beyond with her mustache (drawn on a bandaid w/ a marker). Too bad I got my hat in this shot.
We had some roping set up, and it looks like Brian is getting the hang of it... and basically I just thought Brian looked pretty foxy in his cowboy gear, the only thing that would make this better would be a bandaid mustache!
Here is a shot of mom's Horse Cake, and grandma's Boot Pie. Dad is obviously shocked by how awesome they are, since his eyes are bugging out of his head.

Baby Shower

On Sept 27th I had a baby shower, and it was so excellent. I have been waiting for my shower to know what I need to go get to be ready, but after such great gifts I feel pretty prepared, at least when it comes to stuff I will need. Our ward is so great, and I feel so blessed to have so many people excited for our little miracle. It makes it that much more exciting to know how happy everyone is for us.

I went through all of the outfits and sorted them by size, and it was so great, we have pretty equal amounts of each one (0-3, 3-6, 6-9 months), great job everyone it's like you planned it that way! The only thing we didn't have were newborn outfits, but I think Lindz will have some for us, and hopefully he is nice and chubby and won't be needing those for very long:) I tried to get a picture of all the gifts, just to get an idea of how generous everyone was, but I could barely get them in one picture!

Belly shots:

32 weeks (I am not liking this one, I don't think I will be wearing this dress anytime soon)
33 weeks
34 weeks - I feel like I have popped out quite a bit this week, and finally starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. I was trying to explain to Brian, I am not in pain, it just maybe is like how you feel after a big meal, that you want to lay down instead of sit, to make more room for the "stuff" in your belly.

We went to the doctor on Oct 4th, and had another ultrasound just to make sure all is well, and it definately is. There is pleanty of fluid still surrounding the baby, which means that he has room to grow, and he is growning like a weed. He weighs over 5 lbs and they told us he is in the 54th percentile, which is very comforting. Last time they told us 30th percentile, but I think they had my due date off which would make the #'s wrong.

They also did an NST (non-stress test) and checked the baby's heartbeat to make sure it goes up when he moves around, and he did amazingly. They only put the monitors on for 10 min (sometimes it takes 30 min to an hr), and he was moving around quite a bit, so they got some good info. (I suggest eating a sausage egg & cheese mcGriddle before you take this test, I think it was just the sugar high he needed to move around a bunch).

So when he moved around, they just wanted to make sure his heart rate accelerated, and it did, and then he would have inactive periods where his hearbeat was pretty steady, then he would become active again and it would go up. It was interesting that during such a short period he would have activity then rest, activity then rest in such small increments. No wonder Brian can never feel the kicks, he kicks a bit, then goes to sleep when Brian finally gets his hands on my belly.

Here is the ultrasound picture they gave me, although it's not that clear. The utrasound tech was shaking my belly a bit for him to move to a better spot and she said he didn't like that and had pouty lips. It looks to me like he is blowing bubbles, what a fun kid!

31 Weeks

2011-09-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe how close it is getting now. Since the weather has changed, and fall is here it seems like it is right around the corner that we will meet our little guy, and when you are counting weeks, and they aren't in the double digits it seems like it will fly.

We went to a football game, and I needed to wear pants since it was freezing (I only have maternity capris) so I tried on my old regular jeans. And they fit. I couldn't believe it. I did do the rubberband button trick for some extra room, but it is still crazy to me that I am wearing the same pants.

We went to the doctor for just a checkup on the 20th, and everything is good I guess. There was no ultrasound, so the appointment seemed a little pointless to me. I just don't know what they are checking for (blood pressure, swelling?), and I could have told them that I feel fine over the phone without driving an hr, and waiting 2 hrs in the office there! I guess I have been spoiled with so many ultrasounds, and I want to see the baby dang it! We go back again on the 4th (I'm going in every 2 weeks now), and will be getting an ultrasound then so I guess I can wait.

I am having a baby shower on the 27th, and I am very excited. I have started to feel a little unprepared, and want to be all ready for *unnamed Baby Webb*, but I have been waiting to buy clothes and things until I have had my shower, and know what I actually need. Stores, get ready for me, I am coming next weekend!

26,28,29 Weeks & River

2011-09-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

These belly shots were taken w/ Brian's phone, so they aren't as clear, but it's fun to see how much I change in such a short time now. Grow baby grow!

26 Weeks
28 Weeks
29 Weeks
28 Week ultrasounds: This is a shot of his face. The crazy bulging eye is a blemish on the ultrasound I think, since his eyes are still closed. The doctors office utrasound isn't as clear as the specialist was. My dad thinks it looks like Paul Giamatti. Kind of crazy looking.
Profile shot
Feet
3D hand on forehead, possibly in an "L" for the loser sign? Rude :)
These didn't scan as clearly, so in person you can see his sweet little face better on these pics. So fun.
We went boating last weekend with Drew's family, and had a great time, even though it was pretty hot. At least we could jump in the water to cool off when we wanted, and no one got injured, so I was happy.
I was proud of my pic of Nick grabbing the board, but he wasn't so impressed since it was blurry. Psh, I'm not a professional here!
Here is a short video of Ashley's first try wakeboarding. She got up her first try, and did so great. It was pretty exciting. Way to go Ash!

Hot Vacation

2011-09-02T17:43:00.000-07:00

During the hottest part of the summer, we decided to take a vacation down south (west). My dad had a poetry rodeo that he took 3rd place in. We didn't get down there in time to hear his poems, but we did hear the 2 guys that took 1st (the guy on the far right) and 2nd (not pictured), and they were pretty good. Usually I just think my dads poems are hilarious and the rest of the cowboy poetry I could do without, but these guys were also fun to listen to so that was awesome. If I had been able to take more time off work we could have gone down to hear him, but I'm not sure I could have stood the heat for one more day. I have decided I am a fair weather girl, and unless I am swimming the heat is not for me!
Since we left after my work, we weren't sure if we were going to try and drive all the way through the night to Kanab UT, but at midnight when we were 4 1/2 hrs away we decided to check hotels. I went on Hotwire on Brian's phone, and got a great deal on this beautiful room. Sometimes I just love a hotel, especially if you can get a sweet deal on it!
After the poetry we did some walking around in Kanab, since they were having sort of a community days, cowboy type festival there. This chair takes you back to your youth.
Aparently Brian is a tough guy, but I am quite happy about my being a floozy. Seriously, what was I thinking smiling so big about this?
We went to St. George from Kanab, and got to go see the beautiful LDS Temple there. It is so brilliantly white, especially in contrast to all the red rock around. We went through the visitors center and got to learn about the pioneers who originally built it. I can't believe their incredible faith, to move down to that hot place. I am certianly glad I live in the days of air conditioning!
From there we went to Las Vegas. We thought we were going to go to the Grand Canyon partly this day, but didn't end up having enough time, so we just tried sight seeing. Truthfully, I am not a big fan. Vegas is not for me, or my family (and it was a lot of walking in the hot). This picture is awesome though.
This was the highlight of our Vegas time, the water show at the Bellagio. Dad is certianly enjoying it :) Haha. I believe he was cheesing sarcastically since he knew I was taking a pic.
We went to the Hoover Dam on our way to the Grand Canyon. We walked up a hill (in the heat) to get to the new bridge that overlooks the dam. Brian has a fear of heights, and was not comfortable up there. Then we went down on the Dam and walked across (in the heat), are you seeing a pattern here?
My dad has been teasing Brian about how afraid he was to go on the Skywalk at the Grand Canyone for a while now, and after the bridge @ the dam, Brian didn't think he would be able to do it. This was walking up to the Skywalk, you can see there are no railings on the edge, which seems much more dangerous in my mind. Brian is not so excited about it.
Here is a shot of the skywalk. It goes out over the edge, and has a glass floor so you can look straight down. But then... it has a railing, which made me feel much more safe. It was a little strange looking down though.
Since it was our 10 year anniversary, we got a pic together. Off to the left is what they call "the eagle". See how brave Brian is? This is about the middle, so he was getting more used to it by now.
He even took his hand off the railing in this one. I couldn't believe it. They don't let you take your own pictures, you have to buy the ones they take (lame) and they wanted us to lay on the glass so you could see down, but since my belly isn't really layable right now I passed. I wish I would have tried it though, since you can't really see down very well in these pics.
You couldn't believe how proud Brian was of himself. He really didn't think he would do it. Just look what 10 years of marriage can do for a guy! :)
Then, after all that he goes over near the edge and poses on this rock. Much more dangerous.
The "town" that you go through to get out to the canyon is pretty deserted, out in the middle of nowhere, and they had some great signs. This one cracks me up so bad. Ashley needs to join don't you think?
Another good find, "Prime Property". Haha, and the best part is the old mattress laying by it. Oh man, good times.

Sweet Baby Ezra

2011-08-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

Aug 13th Lindsey & Drew welcomed the sweet baby Ezra into the family. We are so happy that we get to be close, and can go visit and get to know him while he is so little. It has made my excitement about our own new addition so much greater, and everytime we have to leave I just feel so jealous, that they get to stay with their baby and mine isn't quite here yet. Oh how glad I am that I only have to wait 3 months though! So it has been a good thing, and also generating a greater yearning for my babe to get here. Now if only we could come up with a name!

Here is Ashley holding the newest bundle of joy. He just seems so tiny.
I feel like I have been working on getting a tan all summer, but I look white as a ghost in this picture, especially compared to Ashley. Maybe I will blame it on lighting. But I sure do love holding that baby!

This picture of Darcy reminds me of a dolly. She is wearing her Cabbage Patch Kids hat, and she thought it was pretty funny. What good entertainment.
I liked this pic of Brian, I think we all do this, make the same face that the baby is making.
Here is Mom holding Ezzy. I'm just trying out some nicknames :) Dang, she is looking tan too.
This is 3 day old Ezra. Could he be any cuter? Already changing so much, and becoming his own little person. So glad you are here little buddy!

Brian's Birthday

2011-08-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

For Brian's birthday, we were in Seattle to visit friends, but didn't really have any plans to celebrate. We found out that the Blue Angels were flying over Lake Washington, and went down to see them. We parked on a side road and walked, and walked and walked to get to a place on the water where we could see. Seattle roads are very hilly, and I was not prepared for it. This was the first time I have noticed that my body doesn't work the same, and I was wishing I had someone to hold my belly up while I walked! It was good exercise though, even though it was hot, and we had fun being together (plus I lost some weight, added bonus :)
Of course, Brian had to eat at a special diner he knew of, he always has his list of places to go eat. He loved all the sauces, and his sausage was especially delicious, but my food was too spicy for me. I don't know why I ever try to branch out... I should always just stick to a regular burger.

Since we were gone on his actual birthday, we celebrated on Sunday with my family. He blew the candles out so fast I am surprised I got a picture. What a good set of lungs!

I was having a very hard time coming up with gifts for Brian this year, and he is no help always telling me he doesn't want anything, and we need to save money. I did find some oversized camping chairs though, in the famous Garnet & Gold of course. They are very comfortable, and Brian was kind enough to share w/ Darcy who was queen of the chair. Lindz got him some much needed flip flops, pictured here too. I wish you could see his old ones, they were VERY sad looking!

Brian mentioned to me when he was doing the billing, that it would be nice to have a massage afterwards, since it is a LONG couple days of sitting and his back always starts to ache. I latched on to that idea, and thought it was a great gift (for me also...hint hint) and got him a gift card for a massage. The men in the room were giving him grief, and I'm not sure if he was embarassed, but when he gets his massage I'm sure he will be the one laughing at them for not getting to feel soooooooooooo good.

This picture is one of my favorites. We played croquet afterwards, and I like to guess at what Brian might be laughing at. Maybe he made a bad shot, or maybe he was cutthroat and is gloating at his winning move. At least it looks like a good time!
At the end of the night Dad came zooming in the front yard with Darcy in the wheelbarrow. Who knew it could be such a fun ride? Ashley sure thinks so!

This pic was a little fuzzy, they were coming by so fast, but it is still worth posting. I have never seen anyone enjoy a ride so much. I just can't help but smile when I see that big smile!

We have had family here for the last week, and I have had multiple people tell me what a great catch I made. I have to agree! It is so fun watching Brian interact with kids, and I can't imagine anyone who would make a better dad. I am so excited to see Brian with our new baby, and just can't hardly wait. Sure do love you Brian! Happy Birthday!

24 Weeks, 1st Belly Pic

2011-08-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been having requests to post some belly shots, as you know pictures of myself are not my favorite, but I have sort of popped out in the last week or so, so it at least looks more like I am pregnant, than just kind of fat in the stomach, so that is easier to post :)

This is me at 23 weeks. I don't know why I thought we needed a front shot. Ug.

Side shot

24 weeks. It is much harder to take belly pics than I thought. Who wants to see a full body shot of themselves? Usually I have Brian take them but then I don't look :)

Yesterday we went to the Peri to check out the growth of the baby, but it was probably our last visit there since things are looking so great. It is quite hard to believe. Update on my cervix, it is over 4cm. I was so shocked when I heard that, it has gotten longer, and that is such a relief and makes me think that we just might take this baby full term. Yay!

They also could see a tiny hint of my uterus being bicornuate, with the baby bum and feet being on seperate sides at the top of the heart-shap in my uterus, but then when they looked a 2nd time (on the same ultrasound) they couldn't see it being seperate and figured it was maybe because of a contraction. So basically I think that we might not have complications from the bicornuate as well, and I need to start thinking about going through labor instead of a c-section. Ahhh.

They checked out all of the baby parts, and everything is looking amazing. He is 1 pound 7 oz, and still a Boy! I made sure that they verified, just for my own confirmation. It is so amazing all the things they can see, and I love looking at the 4 chamber heart beating wildly. They found one Choroid Plexus Cyst in the brain, but said it should go away by a couple weeks. Sometimes (usually if there is more than one cyst) it could mean there is an extra #18 chromosome, but if that was the case we would have been seeing different malformations along the way, so since everything is looking great it means it is nothing to worry about.

This was the profile pic they printed, it isn't that clear, but still fun to see. Brian thinks he is flexing, showing his muscular arm. And I think he has his lips puckered in a kiss.

Then they gave us 3D pictures. They are so fun. It makes it seem so real, and I couldn't sleep last night just thinking of how crazy it is that this is finally happening, and we will soon be able to meet our baby. I don't know whose nose he got, it seems so tiny, like a little button nose, and neither of us have that, but it is sure cute. Enjoy!

18 Weeks - It's a Boy!

2011-07-18T14:42:00.000-07:00

So, June 21st, we had an ultrasound appointment with the peri to check out all the baby's parts. Oh how I love to see our baby, and that everything is perfect. But after some fun ultrasound action, the nurse asked us "you said they told you it was a girl?" As she was moving the wand around I could tell what she meant, and then I could SEE what she meant. There were some boy parts I thought I was catching glimpses of. I still wasn't totally sure I was seeing it correctly, and the ultrasound was finished and I was feeling a little nervous, that they had now told us it was a boy, and I wasn't absolutely positive. The nurse left to talk to the doctor, and Brian and I had a good laugh. Then they both came back in. The doctor wanted to do a transvaginal ultrasound to check my cervix more completely.

I was relieved. Plus I love to see more of the baby. Let me just tell you, that that ultrasound is WAY more vivid, and seems to be almost flourescent, especially the bones. It only can show a small portion of the uterus, which is why they don't use it after you are about 12 weeks along, but while they were checking out my cervix (more about that below), I got a VERY good glimpse of my boy, and he is definately a BOY. I wish they would have printed a picture of that, but they didn't. They did give me this one though. I cracked up when she wrote "Boy Stuff" and an arrow on it!

One thing that I have known about for a while, is that sometimes when you have an abnormality of the uterus (and I had 2) that it brings along with it the potential to have an incompetent cervix, which could send me into premature labor, (One thing my first doc didn't seem to think we needed to watch for, Boo). So, I have been worried about it, and I was so glad they double checked because they had measured it about 2.9 which is ok, but when they did the 2nd ultrasound it measured 3.5 which is a good number. Yay! Stay strong little cervix. Aparently it is curvy, which is why they couldn't measure it as well looking at it from a different angle. Oh, just one more "special" thing about my body :)

Anyway, all is looking good, even though we can't seem to come up with a boy name now. I think I am finally caught up on the baby news (ultrasound next week), and I will leave you with my favorite profile shot. Baby Boy Webb, how we can't wait to meet you!

Idaho Visits, Family Reunion

2011-07-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

June 10th we went down to Idaho for our reunion, visiting friends on our way. It was so nice to have a vacation, and to see friends & family. My favorite part though, was that I got to feel Baby Webb kick for the 1st time. On our way to Rexburg (on June 13th) it was pretty constant kicking, and I just couldn't help but laugh every time I felt the little jabs. Since I have anterior placenta I wasn't expecting to feel anything this early, so this was a fabulous surprise.

Here are a few pics of our trip. Brian, of course, planned our days around food. We thoroughly enjoyed the food & shakes here.
I don't think Brian knew I was snapping this one. Oh the love :)
The only pics I have of our reunion were of the very last day. Volleyball, and a cute Darcy shot.
Probably saving my life from a flaming marshmellow.
Aww.
Pretty intense kickball game.
Dad building the smores fire, Brian... helping?
Making the good asparagus (or so I was told). Always the grill master.
Tennis
Brian wants me to say that he was trying to steal a s'more from me and I beat him up, but he actually hit himself with his tennis racquet. It got worse after this shot, but we didn't document it. Poor Brian.

15 weeks

2011-07-18T10:48:00.001-07:00

May 31st, 15 1/2 weeks, the longest appointment ever. I scheduled an appt w/ a doctor, referred by my peri, and thought it would be just a short consult. I waited for 2 hrs. The 1st hr in the waiting room there was a father there sleeping while his 3 kids went crazy. They were pouring water all over themselves, and the floor, and hitting each other, and throwing all the toys, (the blocks ended up hitting me). So I went over to try and wake up the dad. Possibly the bravest I've ever been up until my appointment started :) He wouldn't wake up after shaking his arm a bit and saying "excuse me sir". He was dead to the world. His daughter saw I was trying to wake him up and when I went to sit down she went over and woke him up and then he was a little more attentive, but not much.

Then I asked the receptionist how much longer I would need to wait and they told me about another 1/2 hr. I had taken Ashley since we were planning to go visit Darcy at the end, so I decided to run her over to Lindseys, which was a good move, but then I had to rush through traffic... my favorite.

Finally I was called back, only to wait some more, it had been 2 hrs by this time. They took my blood pressure and thought I had high blood pressure. (I wasn't even surprised by that, who wouldn't have high blood pressure after that wait) but they waited to take it again, and a more experienced nurse came in. My sleeve had just been pushed up to tight and my blood pressure was fine. But she brought the doppler to hear the heartbeat. She tried for about 5 min, and couldn't find a heartbeat. Here is where I start freaking out. I'm thinking, take my blood pressure now and see. The nurse was acting like it is no big deal, but obviously that wasn't what I was thinking.

So she says the doctor will just do an ultrasound to get the hearbeat, no problem. I start panicking. I had to go to the bathroom, where I started crying, and trying to get Brian on the phone. Then I go in the ultrasound room, finally get a hold of him and tell him what's going on and he was telling me everything is going to be fine, but I can tell I have freaked him out. The doctor comes in and asks why I am crying...? So I get off the phone w/ Brian (sorry again Brian, that was horrible of me) and he does the ultrasound and everything is fine. Lovely heartbeat. Except maybe mine :) Just kidding. Then we got Brian back on the phone to let him know. Oh man, that was frightening. The placenta is just on the front of the uterus so you can't hear the heartbeat through it. No easy appointments for me I guess.

Their ultrasound machine isn't as high quality as the peri, and he printed the pics fast, but I still like to see them. This one kind of looks like an alien.

He supposedly thought that he could see the sex of the baby at 15 weeks, and told us it was a girl. This was his proof.

It was funny how after he tells me the baby is a girl, I can see the baby moving, and it looks like girl legs to me. Little did we know :)

10, 12 weeks

2011-07-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

So, it has been too long again, and I don't remember very many details about what went on in the early weeks, but I will try and refresh my memory. I feel like I should document my symptoms, as few as they were. I was very blessed the 1st trimester, when everyone is usually the sickest. I rarely had nausea, and only threw up once, although I don't know if it was pregnancy related, or if it was just that I had eaten heavy pasta & then played volleyball (and then watched the cat give birth). It sure wasn't fun though, and made me feel sympathy for women that do it everyday. I have always said that I would gladly take on any pregnancy symptom, if only for the chance to have a baby. I would throw up everyday, and go on bedrest the whole time, and feel grateful for anything that came my way, and I am glad that Heavenly Father blessed me to not be a hypocrite in that area :)

Basically my main symptom has been heartburn, although I did have it before I was pregnant, so it hasn't been that shocking, I have just been chugging the milk. The other symptom is gas. Sorry everyone, it HAS to be documented :) Bubbles in my tummy that will not get out, so not as bad for everyone else, just painful for me. Oh the joy. I did feel more tired the first little bit I think, and took a couple naps at lunch time, but that didn't seem to last long. Basically, I don't know what everyone has been complaining about, being pregnant is easy :) I just had to say that, hopefully everyone won't hate me.

I do enjoy wondering if what I am feeling all day is a symptom of pregnancy, and can't hardly believe that it is finally happening to me.

Dr. Visits:
I very much disliked my doctor in Yakima. I went to him a couple days after the emergency room visit, and felt like he was not concerned about me, and wasn't taking my worries seriously (like I was overreacting to the obviously fine situation). Brian thinks I was too judgemental on the doctor, but I have assured him that it is my right to like my doctor, and feel like he is taking care of me and the baby. So bravely, (unlike my usual) I asked him to refer me to a specialist who deals with high risk pregnancy. He told me that everything was fine, and I didn't need it, but if it would make me feel better he could refer me. It did make me feel better.

April 27th, 10 1/2 weeks I believe we went to the perinatologist, Dr. Halvorsen. I feel like he is very knowledgeable, and watching me closely for the potential dangers I have read up on all these years. I think they didn't give me an ultrasound pic that first time (or at least I can't find it). Everything looked good though, except they saw a small cyst on the umbilical cord. They wanted to keep any eye on it because sometimes they see that in the early weeks and it means nothing, but if it continues to be there later it could be an indication of chromosomal abnormalities.

May 11th, 12 1/2 weeks I went back to the peri, they wanted to check on the cyst. They couldn't find it, but also couldn't see some of the cord, but we got to see the baby moving, and that is pure joy. I had been reading up on the development of the baby every day, so I knew that we would see movement, but Brian was shocked, and that was fun. We also did the NT test that day. They measure things in the ultrasound (nasal bone, space on back of neck), and I give a little blood to get a better % of risks like down syndrome, etc. Results were good. Here are some cute little profile shots.

Emergency Room

2011-06-20T18:05:00.000-07:00

(Warning, medical info ahead)
The next episode of drama in baby world started around March 27th. I had been spotting off and on for the month that I had known I was pregnant, and my ultrasound was scheduled for the 31st so I was pretty much petrified for a while to go to the bathroom (which was quite frequent) because I was afraid every time it would be more than just the light spotting.

On Sunday the 27th the spotting started getting a little bit more each time I went to the bathroom, and then at night (at Nick's missionary fireside at a friends house) there was a little tissue and the spotting was getting more red which totally freaked me out. I pretty much started praying and praying in my mind, but could tell that I was about to have a panic attack and knew that I was losing it. We came to my parents house, and I told Brian that I needed a priesthood blessing, hoping to calm my nerves, and be blessed with the healing to not have a miscarriage. My favorite article on Priesthood Blessings came in the April 2010 conference given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks "Healing the Sick" and I was thinking about this before the blessing, trying to have the Faith I needed for this healing I very much desired.

Before the blessing I had started crying quite a bit, and could feel my heart pounding, and basically was just starting to fear the worst. During the blessing however I started to calm down, and could feel the peace that things would be alright, and I would be able to handle whatever came along. I was also blessed to know that Heavenly Father knew of my strong desire to be a mother, and that if I would have unwavering faith, that I would be able to have this baby. That was the most comforting, but it was still hard to have the faith that that would be true. We went home and I started researching more about spotting, and everything I could find said that if it is light and dark, then there is not really cause for concern but when you are cramping and it gets red and heavy to see a doctor.

The next morning we came to work, and after a couple hrs I went to the bathroom and there was quite a bit of bright red blood. I figured that this was it and I was miscarrying again. I would guess I went in to shock, or denial or something, (maybe I was just blessed) because I was not emotional. I called around, my doctor wasn't in so I decided to go to the emergency room to see if they could tell by ultrasound a possible cause for the miscarriage.

The whole ride to the hospital I was thinking about the blessing, and how I needed to have faith that I could get through it, but it just felt impossible in my mind that I was not miscarrying. We got there an hour an a half later, and they brought us in the room right away, but we had to wait for about 45 min for a doctor (where every 9 seconds the blood pressure machine beeped... torture). Both Brian and I were just joking around, and talking about other stuff, pretty much just taking our minds off the bad news we were about to get. We knew that some of Brian's family & mine had fasted for us Sunday, and I was thinking that we were probably being helped emotionally through fasting, prayer and the blessing.

Here I am waiting for the ultrasound

They took blood, we told them of our situation a bit, and then we went in to the ultrasound room. Our tech Heather, was the BEST. When we went in we were telling her what was happening and what to look for and she asked us if we knew that it was already a demise. I told her no, but that we just pretty much knew since I had miscarried before. So she started the ultrasound, and said "I had a feeling about this, there is the cardiac movement, the heartbeat". Brian was kind of back a ways and rushed closer saying "What, how is this possible!"? Later he asked me why I wasn't as excited as he was, but at this point it made me more sad because I was thinking that there was an actual baby with a heartbeat that I was miscarrying.

So she looked around a bit more, and was telling us how good everything looked, the size, the implantation, the yolk sac, the heartbeat (pictured below), and then since I have a heart shaped uterus she went on the other side and found what she said looked like what used to be a bleed. She said that it wasn't close to the baby and had stopped bleeding, so everything looked fine. It was so crazy. Since my uterus is weird, what they think has happened is that the right side of my uterus was kind of having a period. She said that it was possible to get pregnant on that other side of my uterus during the same time, since that side doesn't really know I am pregnant. This should resolve when the baby gets bigger and fills the uterus, but it could be that I have a period on that side for months. Great. She did a paper on a lady that had a white & black baby at the same time. Brian said he thought that was only in cats :)

We came out of that hospital visit so shocked, and happy. I had truly thought that I was having the greatest faith I could. That things were working out the way that Heavenly Father wanted, and that we would be blessed to get through this trial, but that I was miscarrying. The words from my blessing kept going through my head though, that I needed to remember to have unwavering faith, and truly believe in miracles, since that was what we witnessed. I am sure that the prayers and fasting from our family were heard, and we are so grateful to have everything be ok. Below are the ultrasound pics, it is hard to see anything @ 6 weeks, but the little peanut is beautiful to me!

Heartbeat

Baby Webb

The Big News

2011-06-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

Monday March 7th Brian & I came to work at my parents house, and Brian & I had been talking about going on the HCG diet again, to get back to our healty ways, so I figured before we went and ordered the HCG I would take a preganancy test just to make sure. So I went in to the bathroom and took my test like I have many many many times. And then, shocking to me, on the screen comes the one word I have been waiting for.

I started crying. Of course. I think Brian must have heard me cause he came in. He didn't know I was taking this test, but it was the best news I have ever given. Then we went and shocked my parents with the news. I cannot begin to explain how excited we are, and what this miracle means to us.

The original elation was a little short lived though, around lunch time I started spotting a bit. This started the first of many freak outs that I would miscarry like last time. I called my doctor and they told me to go in to the clinic and have them test my HCG levels and then we would test them again in 2 days to make sure they are growing exponentially like they should. I got my blood drawn and they told me the results should be there in the morning. By the next morning the bleeding had stopped, but there were no results, I called and called and got the run around Finally the next day they found the lab results, they had been lost, but they were good (I think in the 100s?), and I went in to get another blood draw.

I also had been researching what you could possibly do to prevent miscarriage and had read that some women take progesterone (and actually have known some women who go on it immediately when they get pregnant), so I called my doctor and talked them in to testing my progesterone levels and I did that the same time as the 2nd HCG blood draw. The HCG levels went up nicely (in the 500s), and the progesterone is supposed to be above 11 but mine was 9. They weren't worried about it, but I talked them in to prescribing me some. They have some studies that show it doesn't help any, but my doctors were really in to me not stressing, so "if it would make me feel better" they would give me some. And it did make me feel much better, to at least be doing something that could possibly help.

I have known from a very young age that the most important job for me, and the thing that would bring me the most joy in life would be to be a mother, and it has been the one thing I have been working toward for years and years. For this to finally be coming true brings tears of joy to my eyes any moment I stop and think about it. We could not be more happy!

Missionary, Adoption Class

2011-05-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

The first big thing that happened in March was my brother Nick came home from his mission. When we were at the airport it was just exciting, and I wasn't feeling like I would be emotional at all. We were waiting and waiting and then we finally see a tiny glimpse of him, and then the tears just started to flow. It was kind of shocking to be crying since I thought I was so brave, but it was just so great to see him, and know that he had served an honorable mission. We are grateful for the missionaries in our family, and their faithful service.
The next thing was our adoption class. March 4th Brian & I headed out early to go to an all day (10 hr) Adoption Class in Seattle. We had been very slowly doing our paperwork since October. We had actually gotten the first paperwork done rather quickly, and met with our caseworker, who was awesome, but the next step was filling out the questions online, and I felt a little overwhelmed by it all (mainly the questions that the Birth Parents would see).

I loved researching and reading the many stories online, the Adoption community is amazing, but sometimes it made me feel like I needed to learn way more, and wasn't prepared. Going to the class was so great, and one of the hrs there was a panel of birth moms telling their story, and answering questions, which was very eye opening. The main thing that we felt really emphasized (and comforting) was that the birth moms obviously want what is best for their baby, otherwise they wouldn't place for adoption, and the stories about them trying to steal back their baby, or trying to have more contact than you would like are rare since they are still wanting what is best for the child.

We stayed in Seattle to do some site seeing the next day. Here we are at Pikes Market.

Space needle. Brian was talking big like he would go up this time, and wouldn't be scared of heights, but the closer we got the taller it looked, and... we ended not going. Suprised? I wasn't. But it was a fun trip (except for the ticket we got on our way back).

Jan, Feb 2011

2011-05-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

January started out with Brian running around the house with a backpack on. We had the missionaries over for New Year's Eve, and Elder Longhi from Mexico told us that the tradition there is if you are wanting to take a trip that year, you run around the house with a backpack when the clock strikes 12, so I guess Brian was hoping for a trip.
We went to a couple basketball games for the half time show, where Ashley showed off her cheerleading skills. I liked this picture too, since Mirla is cracking up at something.

Here is Brian & Darcy at Ashley's Piano recital. All of the pictures of the performance were blurry, but this was right around the time Darcy started in with Ash, Ash, Ash. She sure was excited to spot her a few rows in front of us.

January was also my birthday, but we went to town, probably watched a movie, and then came home and played a rousing game of volleyball... That was the game I injured my shoulder, which so far has not healed, but it was a fun time even though not documented.

FEB
I have a really bad memory, which was one of the reasons I was blogging in the first place, and I have been reminded of this fact in catching up, since I can't remember one thing we did in Feb other than the exact moments the pictures show to jog my memory.

Dad got the horses out for Darcy, (who looks cute in boots and a hat!), and by the time Brian & I got there they were done w/ their ride, so we took them out for a spin, and they took off. We are not experienced enough, so we ended stopping and walking them back. It didn't turn out as fun as we thought, but I'm glad it wasn't on Darcy's turn.
The best part of Feb was going down to Utah for Brian's cousin Todd's wedding. We visited friends, and family and the wedding was lovely. It was great to be in the Temple with Brian's family, and we're so glad we could come down and be there! Here are a few pictures from the reception. The food was delicious, and Brian was on some kick of doing the Godfather.
This wasn't the best picture of me, so I can't really say that Brian "ruined it" still doing the Godfather in the background, but it is a little strange.
Brian's cousin Jeffery is on his mission in Texas, so to keep him included in the reception they made this lifesize cardboard cutout to take pictures with, I don't know if he has ever danced so much! It was so funny.

Christmas 2010

2011-05-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

In Dec Lindsey & Drew & Darcy moved back to Washington, and livened up everyone's lives. Here she is after her 1st hair cut.

We have pictures from a walk we went on that I had forgotten about. I am the murderer in the white jacket. Aparently that stroller was going so fast I could only fly behind it. Everyone else looks semi-normal, I don't know what happened to me there :)

We sent this stocking off to Nick (Elder Jenne), I thought it was pretty clever. My mom says I gave her the idea, but I had no recollection of that. It turned out awesome though.

Brian went around to the kids in our ward, playing Santa this year. We were thinking the suit was pretty fake looking, and he was embarassed, but to children it is pretty magical, and mostly they loved it. I'm sure it is because he is so Jolly! :)

The missionaries came over on Christmas Eve to participate in our Christmas Nativity, and they were great. The most interesting part is usually finding a costume, but I thought we were pretty creative this year. Enjoy the story.

And here are a couple random shots of opening presents. The funniest part to me was that Lindsey had gotten Drew a bunch of Carnegie Mellon stuff before they left Pittsburgh, and Brian was kind of making fun of him about how much he got...

And then Brian started opening more and more FSU stuff up, and in the end he probably had twice what Drew did. Haha. I cracked up when he opened a huge box from his parents with a bunch of FSU shirts and shorts. He loves them though!

The knife for next years "hunt".

My favorite present of Brian's. This really is a nice razor. I was sure he would shave more often, and he does... unless he is late. Dang.

Some of my loot:

I loved this sweater!

The most happy present I've ever seen :)

Brian is pretty happy about her coat too I guess.

Emily a little overly excited about a window scaper, but then again she was headed back to Rexburg!

Mom enjoying the best bottle brush ever made.

Dad got some good books this year. Ashley has crazy eyes in this one!

And I thought this one was pretty funny, Darcy is pretty excited about the Scattergories card game. Haha

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Oct, Nov 2010

2011-05-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

I am rolling these two months together because once we moved back to Wa, I kind of stopped taking pictures. Possibly because I stopped blogging, or maybe just because we haven't done that much that would require documenting. Also, that means that I have no idea what we did in these months :) So the only pictures I have from Oct are of Brian , Uncle Don & my dad on their "hunting" trip. I put this in quotes because they didn't actually shoot anything, it was more of a nice hike. They were all duded up to go though. Here is my dad with his manly backpack.
And here are Brian & Uncle Don. I can't believe he was that close to a cliff edge! But it is definately quite the view.
Aparently Nov was the month that I threw my back out.

This is a horrible picture of me, but I am so grateful that I am able to work from home, and this was an especially good thing when I was laid up for a couple of days. I have since found Egoscue, and have had no more back problems (knock on wood). That reminds me, I should do my stretches again!

We had Thanksgiving dinner at our house this year, and it was super great. Seriously. Just in case you don't believe me... see for yourself. Mmmm pie.

Brian fried the turkey's again, and they were delicious as always. Here are some shots of the fam, pigging out :)

This year we went up in the mountains to procure our Christmas tree, and it was beautiful! Cold... but pretty.

We saw some wildlife on our way up, that was pretty exciting.

The place we stopped was actually pretty steep, and was hard to hike up and try to find a decent tree. I can never tell how big they actually are, or if they are any good since they are covered in snow. The hill was good for sliding though.

I believe this was in the middle of the biggest snowball fight I have seen. It was quite intense up there!

We didn't use our decorations this year, since we are staying @ Risenmays, but I wanted to document the tree we got. Not bad huh?

September 2010

2011-04-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

In September we moved back up to Washington, close to my family again. Yay! The first thing we did was we went through the Parade of Homes in Tri-Cities. We had missed it the last couple years! Brian likes looking at the construction and layout of the homes most, I do too, but also I like seeing the different decorating going on. Here are a couple pics of some things I liked. We also went on a hike up to Lost Lake, luckily we were able to find it :) Here we are preparing for the hike. Another great photo opp for my dad. Haha. We all tried a little fishing, isn't it a beautiful place?! Only 2 fish were caught, and not to brag or anything, but both were caught by me. I'm pretty much a great fisherman. Ok, maybe they were tiny fish, but it was still exciting.
It's sure good to be back in Washington.

August 2 - Pittsburgh

2011-04-08T19:19:00.000-07:00

At the end of August we went to Pittsburgh to visit Lindsey & Drew, and also to go to the Glenn Beck ralley. I figured I have so many pictures from that I would seperate the posts. Our favorite part was getting to see Darcy for the 1st time. I got to give her the Quiet Book I had made, and she wasn't as interested most likely because she had just barely met us, but Lindz was sure excited so it was worth it :) We rented a van so we could all ride together to DC, which was an excellent decision. Darcy showed us her dancing moves. And we found out that she was interested in putting her finger in Ashley's nose. When we first got to DC we met up with Freddy & Dusti and their kids. I'm so glad we got to see them. We met up at the DC Temple. It is so beautiful, especialy when driving up and it suddenly appears out of the trees. The whole crowd. Uncle Rico & I. From there we went to the DC Mall, and checked out some monuments. We also had to get a pic of this :) The next day was the Restoring Honor Rally. I have never seen so many people. The Subway was so packed. Here we all are in the crowd. We made our own shirts. It was a fun little idea that turned in to a large task. But it was worth it, we look awesome! It was VERY HOT but nothing a ponytail couldn't fix! This was as close to the front as I could get. The people were packed in like sardines, but it was pretty cool. So many patriots in one place, it was quite the experience. The only other pictures I have are of us swimming. I will save you from seeing me in a suit, but I thought this one of my dad was pretty funny. And here is one last pic of Darcy. Too cute.

August 2010

2011-04-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

So here I am trying to catch back up. Most likely I will just post pics of what we've been up to since July. August we did so much, then moved in Sept, then the holidays hit, I think I got overwhelmed to blog about it all :) Brian had a birthday! He is so easy to shop for since he loves everything, but I tried to get something he would really love, and judging by his expression I think I did pretty well. We went to Rexburg for an outdoor Volleyball Tournament, so much fun, and I was so exhausted by the end (and sunburnt) but it was worth it. Thanks for putting together such a great team Tiff. We got 2nd place. I think if we were in better shape we would have definately won, since we had skills :) No wonder I throw my back out when I play, but hey, I got off the ground! Brian stayed in Rexburg a while and went fishing with the boys. This picture is so cute. We miss you guys! Then, we had our 9th anniversary. We're not usually big celebrators, our tradition is to have Pizza Hut (my favorite) & Hotwings like we did on our wedding night, but Brian is so sweet to me (and probably thought we should step it up :) he took me to Park City for some shopping and my favorite meal there... Cheesy Ravioli. I don't know what his meal was, it looks interesting to me, but he liked it, even if you can't tell here. Happy Anniversary Brian!!!

July - Webb Family Visit

2010-12-04T11:24:00.000-08:00

July was our busiest month, and we had the best time having family come visit. Brian was working for weeks on fun stuff to do when his parents came out, so we were booked. This is the main thing he had planned though... Golf. He only went twice while they were here, but he was excited for this the most I think. I had to work so I was sad I couldn't go (and show off my skills :).
The absolute best thing I thought we got to do was go see a performance by the Tabernacle Choir. It was soooo good, and we had the Best seats!

We were so happy and excited to be there!

Some of us a little creapier than others :0)

Ok, here is a normal one.

Brian's parents. I was soooo excited for them to get to see the choir while they were here!

One night we went to the play Pirates of Penzance. It was pretty good, there were great singers. The main problem was we sat on stone stairs for seating, and they were still piping hot from the sun beating down on them. Eventually they cooled off a bit, but we were roasting.

We took a windy drive up in the mountains, and it was so beautiful.

I am sure I take for granted having the beautiful mountains so close, and I am always reminded how wonderful they are when Brian's parents visit. It's so great, and how lucky of me to see them always!

Here we are sitting down for some hot dogs & s'mores. I believe Brian has s'more on his hand here.

We also made it to the black light putt-putt. Brian's Dad is just positively glowing!

I am sure I was about to make a hole in one?

Some more golf shots. Isn't it a beautiful day?

As always, Brian had been researching places to take his parents to eat, and this was the one he was most excited to go to. Pat's BBQ. He really was happy to go there... he must have just been too busy eating to smile. It was good food, and the guy singing in the background was excellent as well.

We went to a Bees baseball game, and it was pretty fun, although quite hot!

And speaking of hot... check us out! (eyebrow waggle) Haha, just kidding :)

After the game, they had fireworks for the 24th of July Pioneer Celebration. There was an awning above us that almost blocked our view, but we still got to see most of the show. Oooo and Ahhh. I love fireworks!

July - Jenne Family Visit

2010-12-04T10:15:00.000-08:00

We met my family up in Utah somewhere to watch fireworks, since they drove down on the 4th of July and weren't quite going to make it to us in time. I didn't get pics of us, just the fireworks. But it was a good show, with a great local quartet beforehand, helping to build the patriotism for the night.
We had a great Sunday activity, and walked around Temple Square. I have always loved the fountains. This is Brian trying to mimic Ashley's previous picture's smile, but he didn't know she was going to do a sweet one this time!
Good one Ash :)
We went up in the mountains and hiked a bit by a spring, but the only pics I have of that are NOT pretty of me! So here we are afterward playing Putt-Putt.

When you take a picture under the black lights you can see the movement that was made during the pic. Dad put on his sunglasses to get a really cool shot. And he swung really fast, but barely hit the ball at the end. It made for a good photo though.
By the end of this day, we were getting pretty exhausted... as you can clearly see.
But we went to the Thanksgiving Point animal farm, where Brian had a staring contest w/ this Llama. I was just waiting for it to spit in his face.
We got to meet up w/ Luke & the fam here, and their kids love it! Here is Luke hucking Michael in the air. I can't remember if he was frightened, but most likely not. I feel a little frightened just looking at this shot :)

Catching Up

2010-12-04T09:54:00.000-08:00

Well, as you can see it has been quite a while since I have posted, but in my defense... I am lazy. So I will try to bring you up to speed. Starting with the last pictures I took from June. This was my attempt at making Cauliflower Pizza. And it ended up being quite good (if I can remember correctly that far back).

First step, microwave the cauliflower until it has dried out quit a bit (you do have to drain water out of the bowl). Then chop in to small pieces. The recipes I was seeing called this cauliflower rice.

Mix w/ shreaded mozzarella cheese, press together into a crust and add spices. (I made a 2nd one that I mixed that I mixed the spices in before creating the crust and it was a little better).
Bake
Add toppings and bake again. What do you think? Partially healthy and still my favorite food. Not as totally fabulous as the real deal, but when you're on a weird diet, it's nice to have some sort of junk food option. Even Brian thought it wasn't half bad. Weird.

Reunion

2010-06-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

This year we went to Grandma Jensen's for our reunion. The first day there was super windy! This is Brian on top of the "sliding rock".
We went to a farm, and they had a bunch of miniature horses. Here is Ash holding a newborn. I think he was just born that morning.
They had a bunch of stuff for the kids to play on. Here is Ash jumping off the fort thingy, onto one of the 3 trampolines they had. You can see their homemade roller coaster in the background.
Brian, ruining a perfectly nice picture. Dang, we look red!
If you look closely at the top left of this rock, you will see Abe Lincoln's profile. Crazy huh? If I remember correctly this is Prayer Rock.
We went to the Buffalo Bill museum in Cody. Here is Ashley viewing some 3D pics. She looks riveted :)
And, just casually riding this piece of metal.
One section of the museum has tons of guns. Brian and Dad liked it, but it just seemed like it went on forever to me. Gun after gun. Here are some long old ones I guess.
This was in the art section. We must not be that refined or cultured, because we always think the art everyone is fawning over looks like a little kid painted it. My favorite Brian Regan Joke... "If I were judging, I'd have to take points off. Pablo, look around. does anyone have two eyes on the same side of their face? No. Hence the low score." Haha!!!
And, here is the Restaurant that my mom used to work in. Buffalo Bill Cody made this beautiful bar for his wife Irma. Brian seems excited about it? No, he wasn't the one drinking from that pitcher :)

Yearbook Yourself

2010-06-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

I just couldn't resist posting these. These are all Brian, if you look closely it is all the same expression, and cracks me up! (if you want to see how you would look just go to yearbookyourself.com and click on portraits)
Enjoy.

Catching Up

2010-06-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't felt like I had been doing much that was blog-worthy, until I just downloaded all the pictures off my camera, and realized I have been slacking. So here are a few pics of our fun times in May.

Right after my surgery Mom and Ashley came down to visit, and we tried to have some fun.
Here is a good one of Brian waiting to go into the Bean Museum. Nice pose!
We went to the nickelcade, and played some fun games. I'm not sure Brian is winning that many tickets here. I like how Ashley is giving him some advice.
I think the most fun thing we did... Laser Tag. Dang, Ashley looks dangerous!
This was one of my favorite pics. Michael was teasing mom, he would pretend to be bringing her the vent cover, and then at the last second run away with it laughing. It was pretty funny.
I think Ash was playing peek-a-boo here, and these kids were loving it!
I snapped this pic as Whitney was walking by, and I love it, she has some seriously beautiful eyes, doesn't she?!
Here's Ash holding baby Sam. I think it is funny how Sam looks like she is holding her pacifier in. Such a grown up :)
We went down to Kurt-n-Heidi's and played a little flag tag, although I didn't have the energy enough to play, but I sent Brian out to show them how it was done :)
Yes, that is right... this was in May! We went to a cabin with Brian's aunt Janice & fam, and some Webbs from Florida, and the first morning we were there it snowed. Still, it was beautiful.
It did get better though, and we had a great time there. Look at the beautiful view.
This was the main thing we did at the cabin... eat good food. Doesn't it look delicious? Well it was!

2nd Surgery

2010-05-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a while, but I figured I would post my surgery story. I went in and had another look at my uterus, and the doctors figured they could take out more tissue. The dotted white line on this pic shows from the top of the outside of the uterus (round about) to the bottom of what was left of the septum. I am guessing that they took 1/2 that distance out to open it up more, but still leave enough of the outside wall in tact. The left horn isn't really blocked, that was just the best pic they could get. So this is why the 2nd surgery.
Aparently I'm really happy to be doing this again :)

It was nice to have Brian here for this one, and I'm glad he had something to do while I was under, although this was before the surgery, but I figured if it was the last time I see him, it might as well be his true form. Haha.

The main difference this time was that after the surgery they kept me there for about 3 hrs because I was still so tired, and every time I would fall asleep my oxygen would drop, and they wanted to make sure I would be ok when I went home. So it was a big cycle, I would fall asleep (still had some anesthesia in me) then the machines would start beeping, they would wake me up and make me breathe deeply until my oxygen went up... and then I would fall asleep again. When they let me go home though, this time I was wide awake, and didn't hardly have any pain. It was a much better recovery, so that was very nice.

This is the Before pic of the tissue they were taking out. I can't really tell that much from the pics, but here they are.

After. I do notice that the tissue is smoother, and shaved down. I think there was some scar tissue, and that might have been why it wasn't very smooth.

This is a pic of the outside of the uterus. Since I have a bicornuate & septate, they have to look though my bellybutton with a camera, and then shine a bright light on the inside of the uterus to make sure they don't take out too much tissue. So they got a pic of the uterus. Aparently they found out that my uterus is also skinny. So instead of it looking like a heart shaped balloon, mine is more like a heart pancake. Just add that to the list I guess. But that is it.

Conference & Shooting

2010-04-28T19:06:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while, but I did want to keep my posts in order, and I just wanted to record that we went to General Conference. It was my first time, and it was quite the ordeal. We couldn't find the people we were meeting up with to get our tickets, so we started walking away since the doors were about to close, and some random guy walked up to us and asked if we needed tickets, and handed us two. We looked at them and they weren't seated together so we were almost going to walk away again, and then an usher came up to us and asked if we needed help. He told us that it didn't matter the seat number since it was in the balcony, and to hurry in they were about to close the doors. We made it in...the very last 2 people. We sat on almost the last row in almost the last seat, but we were there. And as always, Conference was amazing. Here was a pic of me on the way. I jazzed it up a bit.
Brian, looking super suave after Conference.
I snapped a pic as we were walking away. I wish I could have been up closer, but I guess I can get my chance another time.

SHOOTING
And on a totally different subject, we went out shooting guns w/ Scott. It was actually fun. We took our little Hibachi and had hot dogs.
I didn't realize what a big deal it was to set up Targets, but Scott was prepared, and we made sort of a wall. Brian's shots are the far Right, and I was the Left. This was with a Rifle. I am more of a Shotgun Skeet girl :)
And, me again. Brian doesn't remember to take pics of me, so I always end up snapping one to document that I was actually a participant in our activities!
This is a video of our last activity. We built a small bonfire, and then shook up Aerosol Cans, set them in front of the fire, and they blow up when you shoot them. Crazy that you can get such a blast from a tiny $1 can.

No More Brace Face

2010-04-02T13:25:00.001-07:00

Well, 3 posts in 1 week, a MIRACLE! My Favorite part about this is the Brian still doesn't know my braces are off. I got them off yesterday, and I was going to April Fools him, but he wasn't here. We will see how surprised he is tonight!

This is the Before pic, and I was smiling pretty big to get as much brace in there as i could, so that is what I blame on this pic for looking a little frightening!
AFTER! How heavenly! I actually think that my mouth looks really small. I never noticed that before, but it is kind of true. Lets ignore how shiny my face is, and just focus on the straight teeth why don't we?
And one more, to see the beauty :) I told Lindsey I didn't know how they expected me to work, when I can't stop staring at myself because I am so good looking! Haha.

No Feet

2010-03-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one week, I know CRAZY! But last night after Brian called I couldn't go back to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about this. Lately I have been going over and over in my mind this saying:

"I complained because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."

I have been feeling like I am the one with no feet, and all day long people are complaining to me about having no shoes. People are constantly telling me about how awful it is to be sick, or fat because they are pregnant. Or how tired they are staying up with sick kids, or how they just wish they could have a "ladies night out" to get away from the children. And all I can think in my mind is, you have NO idea what they are saying to me. I would give EVERYTHING in this whole world to be sick from pregnancy. I would gladly throw up every day because of it. I would love to get 0 hrs of sleep because I had to stay up with a child. But when people are talking to me, they somehow don't give that any thought, I guess because they are only thinking of their world.

Mostly this has been my attitude, wondering why people continually only think of their own problems and have no sense of how they might make someone else feel. That is why this saying has been popping in my head, because Of Course it makes sense that you wouldn't complain of no shoes to someone w/ no feet, but somehow it isn't translating to infertility.

But just recently I tried looking at it a little differently. I was thinking of this saying, and when I picture someone with a handicap, I usually think of someone inspiring, who would rise above, and overcome their trial (or at least learn from it better than I am). And they would be understanding of someone complaining to them, and would probably not be saying "woe is me" but try and look at it from that person's perspective. And I had been using myself as this person? Looking back, this has definately not been my attitude!

So this is going to be my newest challenge. To try and put myself in the other person's shoes (the thing I have been wishing for them to do) and at least know that I am the one being understanding of others, and truly trying to be respectful for the things they are going through and not think how lame they are... compared to MY trial :) Basically, I am going to try and not make everything about myself. This is my goal, and I know I won't be perfect at it, but I think that this one thought will make my life a lot happier, so I thought I would share. Hope it made sense!

The Latest Happenings

2010-03-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

Well, first of all, Brian grew this sweet Mustache. That's right, be jealous of MY man!
Here is a real shot of what you should be jealous of. Brian is so sweet to me, he knows when I am feeling down what to do...pizza ALWAYS makes me feel better!

We Babysat for Luke & Nat to go see Brian Regan, and these are some Pics I took, they are just too cute. Michael was so funny that night, he has such a fun personality, and just look at that face!

Brian really wanted to watch Robin Hood (or maybe just wanted to sit) but it was pretty funny how glued they both were to the TV.

This was a quick snap of the camera, he wouldn't leave this hat on for 2 seconds.

Little miss saggy drawers, she is getting so big I can't believe it.

We were waiting for Michael to get cranky so that we would know that he was ready for bed, but it was just smiles all night, so we eventually just put him in bed, and he went right to sleep. What a hard babysitting job!

We went up to Rexburg for Tiffany's Baby Shower, and here are some pics of Brian and Caleb, he thought it was so funny to have the balloon in his shirt.

Anyone see a resemblance? (I don't think Caleb was high?)

And, here are a couple shots of Michael on his B-day. I don't know how he liked the presents, but he sure loved being on this box, and enjoyed the wrapping paper. I can't remember why his hand is up, maybe he was waving?

One more shot, he was so cute trying to get this book out of the bag. What a fun 1 year old!

Christmas...Finally

2010-01-27T18:38:00.000-08:00

So, sorry I have been a slacker, but I left the battery charger for my camera in WA and just kind of forgot to post the pics from Christmas. I actually don't have any pics from Christmas day, but just of some activities during the holdiay. I also have been playing with my photoshop so that's why the pics look the way they do.

We went "sledding" for a bit. Actually we found a park with a tiny little hill, and we took these new sleds down it. It actually was about as much sledding as I wanted, (mainly for the walking back up the hill part). I was glad Brian opted to stay and play Wii w/ Drew though, cause it wouldn't have been enough action for him. Here's Emily showing some skill.

How cute does Ashley look in this hat? All of her action shots were fuzzy, I guess she must have been going too fast!

You wouldn't know it, but this picture was posed. We thought at least it needed to look like we were really doing some dangerous stunts.

The Jenne girls, braving the snow :)

This is actually what I did the most while home. Play with Darcy. She is just too cute. She is my new favorite BFF. Here she is waking up in the car. I just love her little just-waking-up smirk and rosy cheeks.

I have pretty much cropped myself out of these pics of me holding her, but I just had to show the many cute faces she makes.

It was so fun watching her learn new things, she was just learning to eat cereal, and man she looks super cute doing it!

This is a pic of myself. I feel bad for cropping me out of the other pics, so I thought I would at least get one in there. Love my new Christmas shirt from Brian that I got myself :)

This game is called Fox & Geese. We have played it since we were little, and were teaching Brian. Basically you make a circle in the snow w/ an x in the center and play tag on it. The middle of the x is base, but you only have a few seconds to stay on it, and it is exhausting (so they say). This is a good shot of Brian almost tagging Lindz. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to jump over the lines, but maybe you just can't land out of the path? Who knows the real rules.

A real action shot of Lindsey. I also like the snow falling in this pic. I opted to just take photos, since I am too out of shape, and my back still isn't fully better. (Lame excuse I know.)

Isn't this a cute shot of my Grandma playing w/ darcy?

One of my favorite times, watching Darcy have a bath. She isn't that exhuberant with the kicking, but she sure looks cute with all her chubby rolls in the bath. I just can't believe I don't get to see her more often.

Finally, this is my favorite picture. Brian playing with the babe. He was lifting her over his head, I was sure she would spit up on him, but she didn't. And I sure love how cute she is with her ponytail. Something about her face in this shot I love. She is so fun to watch, I just wish I could watch her all the time. Ahh, sigh. I miss Darcy.

The Latest

2009-12-16T14:14:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been feeling like I should post something lately since it has been a while, but I just don't really have any pictures of anything, and I think that is what makes a Blog so fun. We went up to Rexburg for Thanksgiving, and it was awesome. We stayed w/ Aunt Laura's fam, and had a blast there. We hung out w/ Tommy & Tiff also, and realize how much we miss them here. Love their kids too, we always want to take them home with us, they are so hilarious.

Brian fried a turkey this year, finally. He has been wanting to do that for a while, and now was his chance. It was soooo delicious. Very juicy, and Very salty. I think less salt next time and it will be perfect. Pretty much it "tasted like chicken" and that was why I liked it. We did get a pic (and by we I mean Tiff did, and I stole this from her blog :)
I threw my back out, and it took forever this time to get better. I was down for weeks, or hobbling around like an old lady hunched over. I still feel sore in my lower back, but at least I walk normally. I haven't been able to exercise though, so I am feeling really Flabby. I also got sick, and that kept me feeling lousy for a couple weeks. I am finally feeling like maybe I am getting back to "normal"?

In the infertility news, we went in to see Dr. Heiner, and he told us we could start our drugs and trying to get prego immediately. Yeah! I thought maybe I would have to wait to heal longer after the surgery. So I took Femara for 5 days, then I was supposed to test for Ovulation (abbreviated as O). All tests were negative which was getting me pretty down, so I called and he told me to go get an ultrasound. I went in and got a peek at my ovaries, and there were 4 large follicles, almost large enough for O. So he told me to take an O-test the next day @ noon and if it was negative, to get the HCG shot and give it to myself (ahh) that night. So I ended up doing that.
A little freaky? Yes. But then the next day @ Noon... Positive O test.My first ever! Awesome. Finally something is going right. So now we are just waiting to see if it worked. It feels like quite a long wait, especially since we feel like there are many things going right this time, and there is real hope. But at least if this one doesn't take we feel like we are getting closer. So, I guess you can all be nervous for me now :)

And lastly, here is our X-mas Tree that we brought home... on the car. Christmas is the best. Can't you tell by that look?!

Surgery

2009-10-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

Mom came down Tue night to stay w/ me through it all, and that was the best. Thanks Mom! Went in Wed morning @ 10:30. They took my blood (that nurse did it quickly, which is unusual for me) then they took us in a room to get the sweet gown on and wait.
The awesome Hospital Socks

We waited about 1/2 hr then a nurse came in and he told us that the room we were waiting for was still being used, and it would be about another 1/2 hr. We did a crossword for a while, and I talked to Brian on the phone. Then he came and got me and put me on the stretcher and we drove away. I was a little scared, but glad to finally get going w/ the project.

He took me through a maze, it's hard to tell where you are when looking at the ceiling, but then he just parked me out in the hallway, and said they still weren't quite done w/ the room. The anesthesiologist came over, introduced himself and said we were going to get going, and he pulled a stool over and set his stuff on the bed. He was great, he gave me a little numbing shot in my forearm, and then tried to get the IV in there. He couldn't... but I couldn't feel it so who cares how much he was digging. Then he did the numbing shot in my hand and got that vein right away. I don't remember him making me count backwards like they show on TV. I think we talked a sec, but I was pretty much asleep quickly.

The surgery was twice as long as they expected it to be. They told us 1 - 1 1/2 hrs, and it took 3. Dr. Heiner talked to my mom afterwards, but I still haven't spoken to him so this is all 2nd hand. They weren't able to take out as much of the Septum as they had hoped (because the bicornuate was more pronounced that they thought) so that is a little dissapointing. I'm not sure how much less, but I guess we just hope that it is enough to be able to get pregnant.

They did Hystereoscopy (up through the cervix) to actually take out the septum, but also did Laporoscopy to look at the outside of the uterus to make sure they didn't take out too much tissue and go all the way through. While doing the Lap they looked around at things and saw that there is scar tissue connecting part of the Bowel to one fallopian tube, and on the other side I think it connects to the bottom of the uterus. He wasn't exactly sure what this is from, he said it could have been an infection, or possibly endometriosis, although he didn't see any other signs of endo. Also he said that this doesn't seem to be hurting anything and the ovaries and fallopian tubes look good.

When they were done I was trying to wake up and was shaking & my teeth were chattering, and I remember putting my hand on my stomach from cramps. They asked me if I was cold, and the hand w/ my IV in it was, but I told them I didn't think I was cold, and they told me to go back to sleep cause sometimes when you wake up too soon you shake, so I did. The next time I woke up I was in the room w/ my Mom. She told me that surgery had been 3 hrs, and that I had the 3 holes in my stomach (I thought it was just going to be 1 on my bellybutton) and they just glued them, no stitches. I didn't ever feel sick which I thought I would. They put an ice pack on my stomach for a while and a blanket, but I was in and out of sleep. I do remember everything we talked about though, and even remember things that were said while my eyes were closed. They took out my IV somewhere in there. I don't know how long we were there, but it sure didn't feel like long. They made me get up and go to the bathroom, and I felt like that was very soon for me to be standing. I went, and then they told me to get dressed and we could go.

They wheeled me out to the car, and I got in. We have a very comfortable car I am glad :) I didn't even get sick in the car. I did take a pic of myself though. Very sleepy! This was me in the Walmart Parking lot. I pretty much slept the rest of the day. The only thing I felt like I could eat was a plain waffle, so I had mom make one, but I could only eat 1 bite at a time, and then chew for a while and it was hard to swallow (maybe cause it was dry? :). It took me all night to eat. I didn't really have pain though, just kind of layed around, and dozed in and out and took my drugs on time. I think that was the key.

The next day I woke up around 7:30 or 8? Mom will have to confirm. I felt pretty good, except my shoulder started hurting more. They told me this would happen. They pump the abdomen w/ air to look around, and it presses up on the bottom of the Diaphragm, which has the Phrenic nerve that connects to your right shoulder. One of the nurses called to see how I was doing, and I told her that I had the shoulder pain, and she said to drink hot clear liquid, and get on hands and knees (w/ bum in the air) and rock slowly back and forth to get the air to move lower (off the nerve). So I did, and when I would rock I would burp a ton, and then have relief in my shoulder. It was weird. But definately worked. I was trying not to take the meds that day, but I think I had one in the morning, and one at night, when my shoulder was starting to hurt way more and rocking wouldn't ease it enough.

I got flowers this day (I thought from Brian) from work, they were so beautiful, and fun to get when you don't feel your best!

I slept very well that night, and didn't even wake up until 10:30, and mom came to check on me to make sure I was alive. From then on I felt pretty good. The best part was that day I got to shower! We went out shopping, even though my shoulder hurt. I would just raise my arm over my head and get some relief from that, but it was good to go out, and the weather has been so beautiful we just couldn't resist. Overall, I would say it's been a successful surgery, and I am feeling great now. Thanks for all the prayers, and get well wishes, I certainly feel loved.

Talk

2009-09-14T08:55:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing about infertility, but you have come to MY blog :) I was looking stuff up on BYU TV's website, and found this amazing talk.

PDF

VIDEO

This lady is a counselor w/ LDS Family Services, and she explains how it feels to have infertility so accurately (for me anyway) that I thought it was worth posting. The first 4 pages were mainly about that, and then she goes on to talk about Adoption, which I also thought was interesting and very good. I pretty much cried all the way through reading it, mainly because finally I felt like someone understands and can express what I am going through, and also she quotes scripture that brings peace and hope. I was also listening to another talk that had this quote in it that I loved!

"If you are helpless, He is not. If you are lost, He is not. If you don't know what to do next, He knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, Why Not." Pres. Packer

Saline Sonogram

2009-09-12T10:21:00.001-07:00

Warning: Long post about medical issues :)

I have started going to a Reproductive Endocrinologist because I felt like I wasn't moving forward with anything baby wise. So he took a look at my MRI & HSG films (of my Uterus) and decided that he needed to get an even better picture. When I first started going to the doctor in 2004 they told me that I had a Bicornuate Uterus, and said that there was nothing you can do, but this Dr. (Dr. Heiner) said that it looks to him like I could have both a Bicornuate & a Septate Uterus. So I went in on Thurs for a Saline Sonogram. Basically they put a balloon in and shoot saline in the Uterus for a 3D sonogram picture.

The worst part of this procedure is putting the balloon in. Ouch!! But once that is in then it is relitavely painless. It was funny because since it doesn't happen often that a person has both, they brought in the other Doctor to consult, and some Medical Students came in to see. How lovely for me. Actually I kind of liked that because then they were talking about it, and I think I wouldn't have gotten as much info otherwise. And since it is so interesting it took twice as long to check out... and the balloon fell out so I got to go through that wonderful experience twice in one day.

So here is the Ultrasound picture he gave me. I have highlighted things. The top line is showing that the outside of my Uterus has a bit of a heart shape (the Bicornuate) but the huge mass in the middle is the Septum that they are going to cut out. The two black sections are the open cavities of my uterus (I didn't realize how tiny they were).

Both problems are congenital, and I will explain what the doc told me. Bicornuate: When forming, there are 2 bands of tissue (picture your fingers coming together) that fuse into 1 big mass. In this problem they didn't fuse all the way together, and that is why the heart shape, cause they didn't fuse at the top. Some can be really bad and barely be fused at the bottom at all. (picture your fingers only fused at the knuckle). In this case I think all the tissue in the Uterus is still fertile, and the main problem is that a baby would grow only on one side, so usually you have a Cesarean birth because there isn't enough room for a baby to turn.
Septate: Once the tissue is fused into one, then it hollows itself out forming the cavity. Some can be so bad that there are 2 Uteri. Mine isn't that bad, the balloon just blocks the part that is open together. This tissue is bad however, and usually can't support a baby. Also, Dr. Heiner told me that since mine is so large, even if a Baby implants on some of the good tissue, the septum could rub on it and I would miscarry.

So, I have both. However, Dr. Heiner is going to cut out the septum (the part in Blue) October 14th. I think that the top tissue will have scars on it, and won't be good tissue, but there will be a ton more room and way less chance of miscarriage.

I have been reading Forums of people that have had this surgery, and it seems relitavely painless. They will put me under, and will do it w/ Hysteroscopy & Laporoscopy, and about 2 days for recovery. Also, on one site I read that the miscarriage rate for someone w/ a Septate Uterus is about 80% and after the surgery it flip flops to about 25%. I dont' know how accurate that is, but it is definatel giving me hope. I just don't know if I could bear another loss like that.

After the surgery I have to wait about 1 month to try and get prego again. My other main problem is that I don't ovulate (the Doc thinks hardly at all) so he will put me on meds, and we will do Ultrasounds of my ovaries to see if I am ovulating. I think the main cause of my anovulation is my insulin, so that is my main focus, diet and exercise. Any help in that area is appreciated. Any boosts of dedication, or helpful tips on how to keep motivated or what works for you would be great. I don't know if I can do it myself or if I need someone else to be accountible to, (although I do know that person Can't be Brian :) Anyway, I am excited for the surgery, and just trying to keep my focus on what is really important. Sorry this was so long. Thanks for Caring if you continued to the end!!!

Sewing

2009-09-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

Well, Brian has gone up to Washington and is staying with my family while he does Onion and Potato harvest, and I am stuck here alone for a couple months. I have been trying to think of things to do and last weekend decided I would give sewing a try. I made this purse with a sort of a pattern, but I modified it so much that I wouldn't say I really had a pattern. I love the colors, but I just can't get it to stand up right, the top is kind of heavy.
I love the pockets, and I added the magnet closure (which is another reason the top is heavy). Also, I didn't want the strap to just tie on, but the metal loops didn't hold it properly, and I kind of like the knot anyway.
I had left over fabric, and I found this pattern and it seemed so easy and cute that I had to give it a try.
I just think they are super cute, and it took me about 2 1/2 hrs to finish.
So far, I have enjoyed my sewing experience. Now I just need to find more cute fabric, because I have been looking at other crafty blogs, and have few ideas that seem relatively easy (at least easy enough for a novice like I am), so we will see what I can come up with. Enjoy!

8th Anniversary

2009-09-06T18:53:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe it has been that long. This wasn't our typical anniversary date. It was so fun to do something different for our anniversary, we usually just eat pizza and see a movie, and we have done that a lot lately. We went down to Spanish Fork and spent the day w/ family. We played softball at the park, watched movies and went Skating. I have always loved rollerblading, but never go 'cause Brian says he can't, then we get there and he is a natural!

The pics are all fuzzy but you can kind of see Dale, Julia and Logan all in a line.
I made Brian pose for this shot, Luke had no idea he was in a race, but it makes me laugh because they were hardly moving, but it looks like Brian is just blasting by.
The Proof. Finally, he has come around. This is what happens after 8 years of marriage, he just caves to whatever I want :) Haha. Just kidding. Love you Brian!

80's Party

2009-09-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

Brandon & Jen invited us over for a sweet 80's party, so we did the best we could w/ our costumes. I always thought I was an 80's girl, but decided I was more 90's, and the outfit I came up w/ was more teenagerish, (I really thought this mostly because of my braces and because the oldest I was in the 80's was 7 :). But the party was awesome, it was so fun to see everyone dressed up. I just can't wait till Halloween now, I love dressing up.

Brian grew out a sweet mustache, but you can't see it as well in these pics.
I really was happy to be going, I don't know why the face... maybe cause I'm never really excited about getting my pic taken. Love the 80's hair though. I did have bright Green eyeshadow on ( I didn't have any blue) but I faded it into pink and my lids are small so you couldn't see it. I wish I had splurged and found some blue and pink lipstick to finish the outfit.
We were playing Charades. This is Brian doing Kiss, could you tell?
Pretty much I decided that this outfit was the absolute least flattering thing I could have come up with. Brian is rocking the tight roll though.

Cirque & Birthday

2009-08-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

I won tickets for Cirque De Soleil off the radio, and it just so happened that it was the night before Brian's birthday, so it was kind of for that (although I was way more excited than he was). As we were leaving the house I asked Brian if he had the tickets, and said that I wanted to make sure because I had a dream that we forgot them and couldn't go. He said Yeah, then we drove 1 hour, got out, started walking in and he reaches in his pockets and doesn't have the tickets. Nice huh. So we had to drive back home, and made it there and back in 1 hour at intermission. So we watched the 2nd half of the show. It was still amazing.

This was a huge swing and they would fly up and do tons of flips.
We weren't supposed to take pictures, so that is why everything is fuzzy, cause I had the flash off, but this was a guy doing crazy tricks on his bike.
This was the best part, the strong men. I can't even imagine having that much strenght and control of my muscles. And balance. Amazing. Sorry it is sideways, I never think of that when I take a video with my camera.

We took a pic of us at the show, but you couldn't hardly see it. It looks like I have finally forgiven him for missing 1/2 the show :)
Brian's birthday "party"? I was pretty lame, and had to work, so he got pastry for a birthday cake. Hey, sweets are sweets, and these were pretty good.
Brian kept telling me not to get him any presents, but I just couldn't handle it, so I stopped by Costco and they had the Bourne Trilogy for $12! And I got him some meat. I was feeling like it was a weird gift, but I think that was his favorite thing. He also got a gift card from his parents to Home Depot and can't wait to use it. He ended up getting himself a smoker a couple days later from KSL and cooked his meat on it. I guess I was on the right track getting him steak. Happy Birthday Brian. Love you!

Random Pics

2009-08-11T20:32:00.000-07:00

Finally some sun on my face. I am not a ghost.
Grandma Hardy, Janice & Don at dinner. Brian loves the seafood at Captain Anderson's.
One of the many things we get to do at the beach... Shuffleboard. It's not just for the old folks.
Playing some Texas Hold 'em. I am so proud.
Those brownies were delicious, but I don't think I enjoyed them as much as these 3. I am even more proud. I believe the Webb boys have a little redneck in them :)
Brian the BBQ King.
Golfing in Florida.
What good form!

Beach

2009-08-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

Finally, the best part. The Beach. Here is one of all the cousins in Florida. Pretend I don't look foolish :)
Kay let me wear her hat. I loved it!! Don't I look beachy?
Football on the beach. Isn't the sand beautiful?
Kind of cheesy, but it makes me smile. This is Chris, Brian's brother.
Lance & his girlfriend Heather. We come to the pool when we are tired of the ocean. The salt gets to be too much after a while, and you just want to be in the shade without sand in your drawers :)
This was the last day, you can't tell by this picture, but the waves were huge. We were in them for a while, and they would just knock us over and take us back 20 feet. They were coming in sideways and practically pushed us down the beach. It was so fun, but made me sooo tired. I felt like I had been in a fight, but it did make me forget about being eaten by sharks and stung by jellyfish. Just a few more things I am afraid of in the water.

Seminoles, etc...

2009-08-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

While we were there, we couldn't miss the chance to go see the Seminole's Stadium. I thought we got some of all of us in front of this statue, but maybe w/ someone else's camera.
Close up.
We just watched them practice for a little while. I wish we could have seen a game, that would have been a blast.
This was a game of Family Jeopardy, it was really fun, I lightened the pic so the colors are a little weird, but everyone was laughing so hard, it was good times!
There were hives outside somewhere, and they got disturbed, and these 3 all got stung within a minute or so of each other. I thought it was a perfect photo opp.

Florida River

2009-08-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

I am finally getting around to posting pictures from Florida. These are from when we went canoing up the river near Tallahassee. I was scared to death. Things getting me in the water is my greatest fear, and there are pleanty to be terrified of in the South. People kept telling me that the Alligators weren't going to get me, and that the water was clear so I could see if the water moccasins were coming and just get in the boat (how comforting). But I braved it, and it was beautiful. Here is a pic of some others in the group, I just like the shot to show this one to see how green everything is there.
There were so many turtles there, aren't they cute. They were my favorite, a lot less dangerous.
This was the strangest thing, they had Manatees in this river, and we came across a mother and her baby. They were huge. The mom was as long as our canoe, and we just stayed with them for a while, watching them and taking pictures.
Brian kept trying to take a picture of this. They would dive down and swim for a minute or two, then come up and blow. Shockingly I was afraid they would come up and we would be on top of them, and they would tip our canoe, but they didn't. I don't know how many tries he had, but Brian was frustrated (our camera is slow and it is hard to judge when it will actually take the photo) so he gave it to me, and this was my first try... not to brag or anything :)
One last shot of the wildlife.

4th of July

2009-07-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

My family came down on the 4th, and we went to watch fireworks. We thought we had missed them at first because we were late and they weren't going, but they must have had a break because they started up again, so we got to see a few.

Here is the group ALL watching the show. Actually I think we were posing after the show, and Mom originally took the picture, but I photoshopped her in. You HAVE to zoom in to take a look at Brian's face. It is one of a kind :)
I was really working on wearing red white & blue, but I didn't have any red, so I just put in a red clip, and when we got there we met up w/ Aunt Elaine, Lainey & Shay, and I found out we were Matchey Matchey. So we had to have a group shot.
Brian was the one with the camera, obviously.
Here we all are doing patriotic actions. I love Shay's Fireworks. I was waving my hand furiously so that hopefully it could come up fuzzy in the picture (since it was a flag) but it just turned out dumb. Although not as bad as Aunt Elaine. I think she was trying to be a scout, but it just looks like she might be a little slow :) Thanks for the fun times guys!

Idaho Camping

2009-07-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

We went camping on the 4th of July weekend up in Idaho with our BFF's the Walkes, and here are some shots of how much fun we had.
Another typical shot of me by Brian.
This is a shot of Brian realing in his BIG fish. Haha. He hooked him 4 times, pulled him out of the water twice, and the fish took his favorite lure. This sucker always got away, but we got some good glimpses of it, and it was tiny. Brian thinks it was maybe 7 inches. Heart of a Lion though.
It rained on us after fishing, and we were glad to have a fire to warm up with. Cameron was definately a fan of roasting marshmallows. We had a bunch of sticks w/ branches coming off them, and he wanted to stick a mallow on each branch and try and cook them. It was funny.
Brian made some great food. We had tin foil dinners that were soooo good, and for desert he made this chocolate cherry cake. Mmmm Delicious!
We camped by this little creek, and I kept wanting to go in. Brian braved it first, and took the camping chairs out so he could basically be as much out of the water as possible while actually being in it. We eventually all went in except Tommy (the only sane one), it was freezing!!!
It doesn't get cooler than this folks. We were all in our tent to ride out the rain for a while, and Cameron Faux-Hawked Calebs hair. He also liked Brians glasses. These kids are true campers. Dirt and all.
This shot was on the way home. Sometimes I just love the wide open spaces. Ahh nature.

Graduate

2009-06-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

Well, we received Brian's diploma in the mail, and it seemed a little lame of a celebration, just snapping picturess of him opening it in the living room, even though Brian was Extremely Excited so... I made him dress up in his Cap & Gown for the real ceremonies. Enjoy :)

Camping

2009-06-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

Friday we tried to go camping, but failed (we couldn't find a good spot). Saturday we went back into the mountains to look for a good place for another time and found one, but decided that we already had everything we needed, so we dropped anchor and camped for the night. It was quite an ordeal for just one night (camping always is), but the mountains are so beautiful right now and it was fun to get outside.
GQ? I think so!
I was making Brian take my pic, and I told him that he was taking them from a bad angle, that I look better when you take it from above, so this is what I got. He was laughing pretty hard from it. I was also, which is why I look like this :)A real shot. We were pretty high up, isn't the view beautiful?Brian is no ordinary camp food lame-o, he marinated chicken & steak for our outing, and it was sooo good. We were really glad we got our fire going since it has been raining so much here. Mmmmm This pic was in the tent. I was frozen all night, but Brian was fine. Typical. We need to get some good warm sleeping bags. Still, all in all, a fun time.

Braces, Bball

2009-03-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

Well, first off, I have been regretting posting this, but I have braces now. Not pretty, but necessary. I only have to wear them for 1 year, but still not my favorite. I can imagine that I will be posting less pictures of myself, but at least I learned how to smile over them. It was rought there for a while :) I have been on a ward girls basketball team lately, and today we were in the championship game...drumroll please...and we WON!!! Wahoo! It has been fun, and the girls I play with are great sports, and aparently pretty good. We had played this team 3 other times, and they beat us every time, so it was awesome to win. It was a close game the whole way, and they always pull it out at the end, but not this time. I got the very last rebound, so they couldn't make the shot and win it, which was good, but I was a little confused because their whole team tried to take it from me at once, and I kept thinking I should pass it but there is no way (by then the buzzer had already sounded and my team was already rounded up and I was just standing there with the ball.) I am pretty much only good for defense at this point. Brian tried to take some pics but our camera is so slow he only got ones of me standing after the shot. So here is a good standing one of me.The Team

The Ending Score

Missionary

2009-03-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

My family came down to take Nick to the MTC, and we spent some time together. It was a fun time together. This is when we were sending him off. He was standing there a little awkwardly, and said... "I'm not sure what to do with my hands" (very typical in our family)then he gave the thumbs up. I love this picture. The official badging, and Nick's face is looking at mom great. The family and their missionary. Such a happy day!This was a funny story. We have our table in the hallway, which is fine for just the 2 of us, but we were trying to have all 6 eating together, and couldn't fit all the charis around...unless Brian sat in the doorway of the bathroom. Not very fancy, but a funny family togetherness moment :)

Monster Trucks

2009-02-16T14:56:00.000-08:00

Well, for our super romantic valentines eve, Brian took me to the Monster Truck show. I know, every girls dream! He was so excited, he wanted to dress up all redneck and blend in with the crowd. He made me wear this camo hat and "There's no place like home" Trailer shirt. It was actually fun, and they also had 3 guys doing tricks on Motorcycles, that were really amazing. One did a backflip at the end. Wow.
I don't know what Brian was thinking here.
I thought this was funny. He spilled all down his "Whitetrash" shirt. Very fitting.
This was my favorite. Backwards Bob. He was jumping from left to right over the cars here. You could tell that he wasn't really driving backwards, the cab was just on backwards, but it still looked cool.
One of the motorcycle tricks. I never know what they are called, but they look cool.
Monstor Truck Mania!!!

Ion Cleanse

2009-02-06T14:46:00.000-08:00

Well, some of you may know that I have been going to a crazy doctor for a little while, and today she had me do an Ion Cleanse foot bath because my kidneys have been testing badly. (I also needed way more water) I continue doing what she tells me because it seems to be working, but I still think it is mostly crazy stuff. I am glad I documented it, because it is kind of cool. It pulls toxins out, and she tested me right after and my kindneys were perfectly fine. It could have been from the extra water I have been drinking, but maybe this bath worked also.
11:39 11:47 12:0512:38

California

2009-02-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

Brian's work flew us to Huntington Beach California for conferences, and we had a blast. It was 75 degrees there (ahhh :). We hung out with Brandon & Jen, and watched everone else get really drunk... fun. They had entertainment every night, and one night they had Charactures. Since we didn't pay we went to all 4 artists. Which looks the most like us? Note the three hairs :) They also had a green screen that you could put your picture on magazines, so Brian & Brandon showed their true skills: We saw Brian's Mission President, President & Sister Jones, they live right near where we stayed, and we walked around their house looking at their beautiful view. How would you like to see that outside your livingroom window? We went to the beach, the ocean was pretty cold, but the sunshine sure felt good again! There were about 3 or 4 dolphins right by the shore I think you can only see one here. Can't beat the sunsets there.

Kay's Visit & My Birthday

2009-01-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

Brian's mom came out to visit us for a week, and we had some fun trying to find things to do in Utah in this cold weather. We shopped a lot, and went to fun things like the doctor :) Here are a few pics of the week:

We went to the Tabernacle Choir practice (held every thursday) and it was fun hearing the director critique things that no one else in the world could hear. Maybe that is why they are so good, but their voices just filled that little tabernacle. Afterwards we took a few pics outside by the temple. It was pretty cold that night.

We did a little tour inside the new Conference Center. It is just fun to think that this is where we see the Prophet in Conference. Such a huge room.

Another photo in our tour. Brian's Aunt Janice also came along for the fun.

We took a drive up the mountain. I never think to be amazed by the mountains until Kay comes out and reminds me how beautiful they are. I guess I am just used to being around them and they are rare in the south. So we drove up and had a beautiful view of the valley. It is kind of foggy here and it was getting dark so this pic isn't that clear.

Saturday was my birthday and we decided at the last minute we wanted to eat at Cheesecake factory, but there was about a 2 hr wait, so we went to Olive Garden, and I got a piece of Cheesecake there. This is us sharing the cake, I told Brian to put a piece of it to black out his tooth, so we were already laughing pretty good when the picture was taken. We have a serious one, but this is funnier. Yep, that's my man!

Snow

2008-12-29T13:10:00.000-08:00

We have been seeing a lot of snow lately. Brian was out playing with an electronic helicopter, but couldn't resist sledding down our bobsled run in the front yard. I thought he needed more snow gear on.
Sledding behind the wagon. (kind of slow, but still fun)

Brian jazzed up the sledding when he tried to snowboard on our little sled.

Trees in the back yard.

We went ice skating, and I was very rusty, but I was standing still and had my dad snap this picture really quick to look like I was really good. It turned out great, but the truth is, I was very unstable, and felt like I would fall at any minute.

Christmas

2008-12-29T12:52:00.000-08:00

During all of the miscarriage stuff, we bought a car. We had to go to Washington for Christmas, but neither of our jeeps would make it, so we ended up getting a 2008 Hyundai Sonata. I tried to take a pic, but the lighting was really bad. But we sure love this car.

So we went to Mattawa. We always do a nativity pageant on Christmas Eve, and this year I made everone sing for their part. I thought that was fun. The men were not as excited about it, but they were good sports. I was a shepherd, Brian was a wise guy. Here are some good shots!Shepherds.
We sure do love the baby Jesus don't we?
Very wise men. Nick was from the Orient. My dad made his crown with a paper plate and foil.

The whole cast (mom is always the narrator so she isn't in the photo)

Miscarriage

2008-12-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

So, I guess I will post about this now, and beware it will be long. I am just taking this from my journal, because it is easier to write that way, and first it is the day I found out I was prego.

On Dec 2nd Lindsey told me she was preg and she was really worried about how it would make me feel since we have been trying to get preg for 7 years. Then 2 days later I bought myself a preg test because I my chest had been sore for about 3 weeks. That night I had a dream. It was pretty simple, but basically it was that I woke up, and took the test, and that it was positive and I was so elated to be pregnant, I was just emotional, and had to tell Brian. I also kind of remember that I was so happy that I could tell Lindsey so she would get to feel the absolute joy that she should be. I have had dreams before of knowing, and telling other people, dreams of how we would tell our parents, so this wasn’t really new. But then I woke up at 8:31, and I was so nervous, but had to go to the bathroom badly. I went in and peed on the stick, really praying in my mind, telling Heavenly Father again that I just don’t know how I will handle it, and pleading to have my dreams come true. I counted to five, then put the lid on and set it on the counter, and covered my eyes. I couldn’t look at it I was too nervous, and I was praying so hard. Then after a little while I just had to look at it. There they were, 2 lines. One dark, and one light, but I had read the night before that one could be lighter than the other and that was fine, so I knew. I started sobbing right away. I just couldn’t believe it. My dream has come true!!! Brian heard me, and thought “oh no, she isn’t pregnant and she was really hoping to be, and it is killing her that Lindsey is” and he came in and crouched down beside me and tried to put his arm around me. After a few seconds I finally could get out “I’m Pregnant”. He said “what? You’re what?” I told him again, then he did his smiling face with his eyebrows lifted, and said “Oh really?” It took him a while, he couldn’t believe it either. Then he said, “you know, it would be easier to hold you if you weren’t sitting on the toilet” Then I kind of laughed through my sobs. So I finally gathered myself and we hugged for a while, and I just cried. That kind of turned into just standing there shaking, in unbelief.

This is the picture of us on that happy day, I took it to record how happy we were, and I am really glad I did now.

So that was Dec 5th. I never felt sick, or weak or anything. I just felt joy for a week or so. We moved on Sat Dec 13th. Sun Dec 14th I started to miscarry. I went to the doctor the next day and he was very sweet. But we saw the baby and it was just way to small. He had me do blood work to make sure, but I pretty much knew it was over. Wed Dec 17th we went to my homeopathic Dr. that I have been seeing (which is why I believe I got preg in the first place) and she wanted to check my progesterone, because that is sometimes why women have miscarriages. She said mine was very low. She also gave us hope to get pregnant soon because she is going to test me every week to see when I am ovulating, and then I will test to make sure all my hormones are doing fine for the pregnancy to last. So for now I am using a progesterone cream 3x a day which she said is very rare, so that may have been just the thing we were looking for.